The Birds!

They're sticking around just to spite me, my furry brothers and sisters. The darn birds haven't gotten the notice that it's winter now. This stuff called snow is falling.

Four days ago, I overheard my humans speaking of a "winter storm warning." I'm not really sure what they meant by it. But on Friday afternoon this very strange substance known as snow began falling outside. It was quite mesmerizing. I spent hours watching this tiny little white flakes falling and blowing around.

What snow helps me to do is to spot the creatures that are still active in the winter time. There are rabbits and squirrels, and much to my surprise, birds! I think the birds are just late migrating south, though. On Saturday morning a group of them landed on the bush outside my window and just sat there! They yelled horrible insults at me and laughed for quite some time. I yelled right back at them. Evan and Sudha seemed to think this was quite amusing, and "cute."

Also this past weekend I upped my swiping and pouncing campaign against Evan and Sudha's feet. On Saturday morning I was very, very hungry indeed. I usually reach under the blanket to swipe, as I have mentioned in the past, but my humans have gotten good at shielding themselves from my attacks using the blanket. So I hopped up onto the bed itself and pounced repeatedly on anything that moved. I might try it again, as it seemed to get me fed in a somewhat timely manner. Although I heard Evan muttering "spray bottle" so I should be on my guard.

Last night something very strange happened. There was a power outage. Now I, as a superior being, have excellent eyesight. What really bothered me about it was that my heating vent suddenly stopped working. Now that was a horrifying experience. I can't believe that my humans did that to me!

Well, I have some cat-nap time to catch up on, until next time!

A Game of Cat Beds

First and foremost, my furry brothers and sisters, I must apologize for my long period of silence. It has been quite a busy month. It started out with a terror-inspiring trip to the vet.

The vet had the nerve to call me "a little chunky" when she saw me. I mean, really! I had literally only gained about a pound and a half since the last time I was in her office. I'm not going to share my exact numbers here, but it only constituted a 14% increase in my body weight! It's winter out there, it's getting very cold. Needless to say, I was very insulted by this observation.

What's worse is that Evan and Sudha have bought into the vet's propaganda. They have started feeding me a little less with each meal. Before this unfortunate change, I was pleasantly peckish before mealtimes. Sometimes I would let the two meals overlap with one another. Now I finish my meals well before the next meal time rolls around, and I'm quite hungry by the time Evan or Sudha finally gets around to feeding me.

To avenge this clear slight I have started, again, to reach under the covers of their bed while they are sleeping and swiping at their feet. Also, I've started curling up on their bed at night and attempting to take up as much space as possible. For example, the other night, I curled up on Evan's side of the bed between him and the edge. I made sure there was just not enough room for him to put one of his legs between me and the side, forcing him to sleep on his side.

Last week was Thanksgiving. Evan and Sudha were out of town for a days, giving me free reign of the house. Their friend Ali came in a few times to feed me. It was quite comical the first time watching her search the whole house for the cat food. I was trying to tell her where it was, but she didn't seem to be listening to me. What I did not appreciate about Thanksgiving weekend is that my darn humans turned the heat down to approximately 60 degrees for the whole time! Now, I know I have a fur coat and all, but 60 degrees is cold. I had to huddle in my cat bed to attempt to stave off the horrendous cold that was pouring into the house.

Anyway. I will try to update you all a little more frequently from now on. It's just been a very eventful time for me, with a lot of things to worry about.

Until next time, my furry brothers and sisters!

Visitors, Enemies and Pumpkins

There were two visitors to my house this last week, my furry brothers and sisters. The first was Fernando, who was back in town for work for a week, and the second was Magenta.

I'll start with Magenta. She is the owner for Sudha and Evan's good friend Seth. This is the same Seth who tried to bribe me with crumbs of bread, just so you recall. She's a slightly older cat, but I have to admit, a little more rotund than me. She stayed in my basement for a night because she wanted to get away from a Halloween party Seth was throwing in his house.

Needless to say, Magenta said some very rude things to me through the basement door. I was quite taken aback. I responded by raising my hackles, puffing out my tail and hissing. She replied in kind. After our run-in by the basement door, she hid downstairs out of my sight for the rest of her stay.

I acted more friendly towards my two humans for the rest of the day. Not too friendly though, I wouldn't want to spoil them.

Fernando also stayed in the basement. He's a little bit more polite than Magenta, but not by much. He seems to think that I am not friendly, and likes to say it out loud. However, he's just spoiled by his own owner, Bonnie. I'm not sure why other cats feel the need to spoil or not train their humans. It's really getting embarrassing.

Yesterday was Halloween. Evan and Sudha brought home this large orange things called a pumpkin, and carved a face into it. I was intrigued by the smell of the pumpkin, I have to admit. But ultimately, I don't think I would have liked it. They put the pumpkin outside on the front porch. Lots of people came by with their children to beg for candy. I tried to escape a couple times, but to no avail.

It's strange, some of the children were dressed up, but others just came as "themselves." It just seemed like being lazy, if you ask me.

Sadly, the pumpkin that Evan carved vanished from the porch as some point during the night. He was a little sad about it. But honestly, how sad can you get about a face carved into a large, orange fruit?

Well, I've got a lovely cat bed by a warm vent to lounge in. Until next time!

How to Train Your Kitty

I have discovered something new, my furry brothers and sisters: book shelves. This is not to say I didn't know about them before, I most certainly did! However, I have just recently discovered that they offer excellent nooks and crannies to hide in. Also, they offer great vantage points from which to survey your domain. They are not that easy to climb into, unfortunately. Evan and Sudha are completely baffled on how I was able to get in there. I cannot share the details as it is a cat secret. 

Needless to say, they thought it was "adorable" that I was on the bookshelf. I got them to take some pictures of me for the blog.

A few days ago, Sudha brought my old cat bed out from behind the couch and set it up for me close to the fireplace and right by a heating vent. I hadn't slept in this bed for months and months, not since moving to the new place, actually. But, oh boy, was that bed comfortable. I've started spending hours sleeping in it over the past few days. I've never experienced heating vents before, but I have to say that they are god's gift to kitties.

Speaking of kitties, that damned black and white cat named Tuxedo was back yesterday. I don't understand why he feels the need to come by be all friendly to Evan and Sudha. He's just making me look like a grouchy old thing! I took the liberty of hissing at him quite profusely through the deck door.

Now that the weather is colder, it seems that more bugs are coming into my house. These little beetles get in and fly around the place. Just last night, I stared at this one beetle for hours and is walked around the ceiling, tantalizingly out of my reach. I do catch them and eat them when I can. they are tasty little morsels!

Speaking of tastiness, my humans have gotten into the delightful habit of giving me egg yolks on the weekends when they are making their breakfast. I have to say, not only are these things juicy and delicious, they also make my beautiful fur coat softer and sleeker!

Now, every time Evan breaks an egg, I'm in the kitchen demanding that he provide me with one.

There have been many visitors to the house of the last few weeks. Some inspectors came to look at my new furnace yesterday, I used the opportunity to try to go outside for some fresh air. Evan didn't seem to like this very much and threw me back in.

Some friends of my humans came by last week and showed some mild interest in me. I like watching them from a safe distance, but I'm always there, keeping my eye on them!

Anyway, I'm late for a nap by the heating vent, until next time!

All the Leaves are Brown, and the Kitty is Gray/Orange

The season is changing, my furry brothers and sisters. It's getting colder and there are fewer and fewer woodland creatures for me to stalk. The squirrels seem to have stuck around, which I appreciate. As I mentioned in a previous post, I have become more cuddly with the advent of the cooler weather. In addition, I've unfortunately had to stop shedding as much, to conserve my silky winter coat.

The other day, Sudha and Evan came home from a walk talking about "Harriet's Twin." Apparently they saw some cat that they believed looked like me. Here are a couple of pictures of this "twin."

I'm not really sure where they see the resemblance, honestly. No cat could look like me really, I am truly unique, and one of a kind. The say I came from a litter of 6 or 7. Balderdash I say! I am angry at them for thinking that there could possibly be another cat like me. 

I'm angry at Evan for another reason too. On Monday, there were some people over installing a new furnace. Naturally, I was curious and kept following them around. I just wanted to follow them outside, I'm not sure what all the fuss is about. But Evan would have none of it, he unceremoniously grabbed me and locked me in the upstairs laundry room all day! I've never been so insulted in my life, that I can remember, at least. The details of that event become hazy as I move on to more important things, like plotting killing squirrels.

There were more people over at my house this weekend, for cheese fondue. Evan's cousin Jill was in town, and we had her, her brother John, Paul and Tara over. I only hissed one time, and Jill fully deserved it! She wouldn't leave me alone. I still did feel bad about that, so later I did come up and eat a couple delicious kitty treats out of her hand. 

For the last two nights, I slept on Evan's belly as he was lounging on the couch watching TV. I put my face down flat and I spread my front legs out as if I'm stretching. It's very comfy. And he seems to like it to, he rubs my back, and scratches me on the chin and under my collar. I'm slowly forgiving him for his earlier affronts.

Well, I have more squirrels to stalk. Until next time!

The Silence of the Kitties

It has been a long period of silence, my furry brothers and sisters. The season is changing, it's getting colder and darker outside. Evan doesn't seem to mind the weather getting colder. Sudha really doesn't like it though. Personally, I like it. The winter is a time where I can lie on my back, spread-eagle towards the fire. Or where I can lounge about on top of the heating vents. I've heard from other cats that these heating vents are very comfortable. They haven't even been turned on around me yet, but Evan and Sudha are getting me a new furnace, so I'm excited to try them out.

Speaking of other cats: there is a neighbor of mine who has no respect for personal boundaries. A black and white cat, by the name of Tuxedo, showed up a couple of weeks ago on the front porch and stood there for over an hour, meowing to get in. Now, you would think this is normal behavior, but Tuxedo apparently doesn't understand that this is my house! He can't come over here, acting all friendly, and expect my humans to pay attention to him. Needless to say, I hissed at him quite vehemently. Sudha thought it was "funny," but she doesn't understand the seriousness of the situation.

Ever since that incident, I've been acting more friendly. I figured I would try to top this Tuxedo every way I knew how. I've been sleeping in Evan and Sudha's laps, I've even stopped hissing at visitors!

Just last week, my humans had some other humans over for dinner. The dinner consisted of some sort of delicious smelling melted-cheese dish. I was very excited to help them eat it, but they wouldn't let me! Anyway, I hung around with the whole group for most of the night. I didn't get too close, but I sat and watched them from halfway across the room.

Later on, under the influence of several bottles of wine, two of the humans attempted to bribe me to come closer. Now, I would say that this normally works, however, the two humans in question, Seth and Fernando were trying to coax me with pieces of bread. Needless to say, being a bloodthirsty, violent carnivore, I had no interest at all in this. I sat there and stared at them. I tried to tell them that the bottle of kitty treats was just over on the mantle piece, but they didn't seem to understand.

Yesterday, Sudha's friend Pooja and her family were over for breakfast, and I actually ate treats out of their hands. Not one hiss or raised hackle. I must say, I'm quite proud of my behavior.

I've taken quite an interest in the lovely Syrian tablecloth that Evan and Sudha got from Evan's parents. It's long and easy to grip with my claws! I love to dash across the living room, leap up onto the table and then let myself fall off the other side while gripping the table cloth. I recommend that you all try it.

Anyway, I must back to chewing on Sudha's plants!

The Remains of the Kitten

When I was a kitten, my furry brothers and sisters, I was very cute, very cuddly and very friendly. Back in those days I lived in a carefree world filled with laps and toys. Back then I would howl whenever Evan or Sudha went outside or left me along downstairs. I would sit on their friends' laps.

I was a very different kitty. After enduring a hard move I'm much more crotchety. I'm working on it though. Evan informs me that I have a reputation for hissing and being unfriendly.

So this weekend I made more of an effort. Evan just turned 28 years old last Friday, and on Saturday he had a bunch of people over to celebrate this! I behaved very well. I stayed downstairs and watched people. I didn't hiss at anyone at all during the party. Even some of the guests tried to pet me. Their friend Ben used kitty treats to try to win me over. Mmmmmmm.... kitty treats.

Evan was a little under the weather a day after the party so I sat on his lap a couple times to cheer him up. He scratches me very nicely behind the ears, and on the back of my neck under my skull and crossbones collar.

Sudha and Evan have this lovely purple Syrian table cloth on the dining room table. I don't know what it is about this table cloth, but it calls to me. It contrasts so beautifully with the lighter color of my fur. So naturally, I can't resist jumping onto it and spreading out all over it. I do this especially when they are not at home. I think they may be on to me though, as the thing is covered with cat hair. And I was slow and Sudha caught me sitting on the table last night.

Both of my humans were out of town a week ago, visiting Sudha's family in Chicago. Their friend Fernando, who is staying in the basement, was there, along with his girlfriend Rachel. They fed me decently well, I suppose. Although they basically ignored me. It was a little disappointing. I am a creature with very complex feelings. Just because I seem to be completely ignoring you and treating you with utter disdain and contempt, that doesn't mean that you have the right to do the same. Needless to say, I was happy when Sudha and Evan got back that Monday. I showed my appreciation by complaining for food and ignoring them.

The weather is getting colder. I feel that it will soon be time to lie on my back with my legs spread towards the fireplace. There will be fewer woodland creatures to gaze at from the window with murderous intent.

Until next time my furry brothers and sisters!

Meat, Screens and Flame

Yesterday, my furry brothers and sisters, I spent several hours watching an amusing spectacle. Evan and Fernando spent quite some time assembling the new grill that they brought home. Let me tell you that these two humans have quite some inflated view of their own "manliness." I spent the first half of the time begging for them to let me out and help them, but to no avail. I meowed and meowed at the screen door at the top of my lungs to be let out, but they wouldn't do it. In fact, Fernando started using the other door instead.

The did finally get the thing set up. And then the most wonderful thing happened. Evan opened up this package containing raw brats and I thought I was in heaven. I've never encountered that sensational smell before. I meowed quite loudly and repeatedly, demanding that Evan give me some of it, but he refused. I really need to sit these humans down and remind them who the boss is here.

To vent my frustration, I dug my claws into the screen windows and doors over and over again. Now there are marks in the screen where my claws have done their work. In addition, I've rubbed my nose all over the big window in the living room, now it has cart markings all over it.

It has thankfully cooled down here. It has been very hot and humid, I've been shedding like crazy over everything. This is something that I do normally, but especially when it's hot. But yesterday the crazy humidity finally broke, and Evan and Sudha opened up all the windows. It was glorious to be able to plan the death of every passing bird, squirrel and rabbit.

Other than Evan's refusal to let me eat his brats, I've been appreciating my humans a lot more. I've been enjoying sitting on their laps and allowing them to scratch me behind the ears. It really is quite comfortable. The other night Evan was lying on the couch reading, he apparently was having trouble sleeping. Which is strange, I don't understand how you could have trouble sleeping. But I digress. He was reading on the couch and then turned off the light to try to fall asleep, and I climbed onto his lap and on the blanket in his lap. I think that I personally helped him fall asleep. He sleepily scratched me behind the ears and then rested his hand on my back as he dozed off.

Well, they've gone to work again for the day. I have a lot of things to do, so I must be off!

Spicy Marinade for Kitty Kabobs

As I was perusing the internet this morning on Sudha's computer, my furry brothers and sisters, a very disturbing article attracted my attention. You may read it here if you wish: Kitty Marinade. The summarized version is that a cat was found and rescued out of the trunk of some guys car. The kicker is: the cat was marinating in oils and spices, with the purpose of becoming his human's next meal!

Now, I don't have to tell you all how disturbing this is to me, as a cat. Unlike cows, sheep, pigs and chickens, we serve a purpose outside of being served in steak and kabob format. We are cute, hilariously funny, and have the uncanny ability to exert our will and desires upon the lesser species while at the same time convincing them that they love us. I am opposed to eating the flesh of animals unless I kill it myself or it is served to me by my humans. Please, don't eat cats!

Speaking of humorous human behavior: Sudha still insists on buying flowers at the farmer's market every weekend and then displaying them in a place where I can very easily access them. Occasionally she'll complain about it to Evan, but really, what does she expect? I love ripping those colorful little buds off, chewing them up and discarding them in strategic places around the house. There's something about it that I can't resist. And yet, they keep bringing them home, expecting me to cut it out one of these days.

They brought home this devilish contraption the other day. It appears to be a mouse that is attached to a string. It makes the most pathetic squeaking noise whenever it moves, so it much still be alive. As you know, cats are pretty good at chasing and killing mice, so I have been chasing this thing around for days now. I never seem to be able to catch it, but it's still alive and squeaking at me!

I mentioned a few posts back about my addiction to the nip. Well, that is still going strong, I'm somewhat ashamed to say. I have resorted to stealing the drug from Sudha's purse because I can't resist it any more. I had noticed the lovely and attractive smell of the catnip wafting from the direction of the couch. I stuck my nose into every corner, searching for the source, and at last I found it! I shoved my whole head into the purse and yanked out the delightful catnip filled, chipmunk-shaped toy. And let me tell you... this was the good stuff.

Evan and Sudha's friend, Fernando, has moved in with me on a temporary basis. He's moving to Chicago eventually but is currently residing in the scary basement that I still dislike going into. He doesn't pay that much attention to me, he claims to hate cats. But I happen to know that he belongs to an adorable little cat named Bonnie. I think maybe she is just a little too protective and has insisted that he pretend to dislike all other cats. I really don't mind him much as long as he stays in the basement. The smell doesn't quite reach all the way up from there.

As an update: Suma Setty has made it safely to India, I miss biting her already...

Until next time my furry brothers and sisters!

Farewell and Good Woodland Creature Hunting

I am writing today, my furry brothers and sisters, to wave a fond farewell to Sudha's little sister, Suma. You can see her in the picture, I was skyping with her yesterday evening.

Suma and lived and stayed in my house off and on for the past few years. I know she says she doesn't particularly like me or my sharp teeth and retractable claws, but I think she's just saying that and really does enjoy my company.

Suma is leaving to work in India and won't be back for a whole year. Sudha and Evan are quite sad about this, but also are extremely proud and happy for her that she is taking advantage of this wonderful opportunity.

I will have to find someone else's feet to pounce on for a year, so I am particularly put out.

Please give Suma your best wishes!

She will be missed. As much as humans can be missed, that is.

The Kitty with the Skull and Crossbones Collar

I'm becoming slow in my old age, my furry brothers and sisters. It's been a month since my last post, and I apologize for the lengthy delay. On July 14th, 2010, I turned 2. Yes, 2! I don't want to sound like I'm complaining about my age, but seriously, I'm practically 5!

As you may have noticed: it is summer time out there. I wouldn't really know, as I'm not allowed outside, but what this means is that it is now ultimate shedding season. This is a time where cats band together to defy the laws of physics and shed as much possible. Humans cannot comprehend how the shedding works. Their feeble minds just don't understand how our bodies are able to release so much hair and yet remain furry. I, unfortunately, will not be sharing this secret with you, as I know there are several humans who will read this, and I do not want to become a traitor to the species. Needless to say, I can shed my hair at a prodigious rate. Evan will pick me up for several seconds and all I have to do is squirm and he's got literally a solid sheet of cat hair all over the front of his shirt.

Another things that happens in the summer time is that Sudha and Evan go to the farmers market almost every weekend. Lately they've been bringing back the most delightful things: flowers. With these incredible things I am able to wreak so much more havoc than I would normally be able to. I can quite easily decapitate the flowers with my teeth, and then drop them in strategic locations for Evan to step on barefoot in the morning. I have deduced that humans do not like the feel of cold, dead, organic things under their bare feet. In addition, Sudha place a vase full of flowers on the small table in the foyer. I took the liberty of completely tipping the vase over, causing all the water to spill out all over the shoes on the floor.

Flowers, so help me, I love them!

Evan and Sudha's friends, Rachel and Fernando, are apparently leaving town. This alone doesn't matter too much to me, but they are temporarily moving in and with them come many boxes and bags and other wonderful things to play with. A few nights ago, for instance, I successfully explored Rachel's cooler. While everyone was carrying stuff into the house, I also took the opportunity to briefly escape again. It was another enlightening experience! For my boldness I was unceremoniously closed into the bathroom.

Evan just recently got some game called Starcraft II, so he really hasn't been paying much attention to me. I've been paying him back by going downstairs when he's upstairs and hiding upstairs when he is downstairs. He keeps calling for me, but to no avail.

Yesterday, though, I relented. I climbed onto his lap and gave him permission to scratch me behind the ears. I also spent quite some time on Sudha's lap as she watched a movie.

I must leave you for now, my minions, I have several windows to stare out of. I promise that my next update will come in a more timely manner.

Of Tables and Spray Bottles

There is a lovely table in my new house, my furry brothers and sisters. It's quite large and heavy, and the top is made out of glass. From hearing Sudha and Evan talk about it, it took quite a few people to help get it inside during the move.

I have to say that the best thing about this table, without a doubt, is that it gives me the perfect vantage point to both see out the window towards the park and into the back yard at the same time. I'm not really sure what their problem is, but Evan and Sudha don't seem to appreciate my being able to see out of both sides of the house at the same time. They yell and screech and use the dreaded spray bottle whenever they see me there. Mine, however, is the last word. They have to go to work all day while I can just laze about on the table for hours at a time. Just to rub it in their faces, I have been leaving quite a large collection of light cat hair on the dark blue Syrian table cloth!

I'm going to confide in you now, my furry brothers and sisters. I have an addiction. I'm secretly back on the catnip. My humans brought home several toy mice filled with the stuff, and let me tell you, I can't resist it. I know this addiction is bad, but I can't help but sniffing it, tossing the toys around like a madkitty and getting the smell over my entire body. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....

Anyway, I've tried to escape to the outdoors again several times over the past couple of weeks. It's been difficult as Evan and Sudha seem to be more vigilant than usual. In addition, they've left me alone for days at a time two weekends in a row! This is not only preventing me from escaping, but it is also depriving me of my humans to ignore. How am I supposed to lord over them and pretend they don't exist when they're not around?

In order to prevent them from leaving like this again, I've been acting more cuddly. The other day Sudha was using her computer, and I curled up on the chair behind her, only taking up about two thirds of the space. How very fortunate of her to have me bless her with my presence. I've even started swiping at Evan's feet under the blankets early in the morning again, a habit that I have sorely missed.

Well, my humans have gone to work again for the day. Time for me to get back up on the dining room table.

Lighting, Thunder, and Wet Food

I have made an important new discovery, my furry brothers and sisters: the outside! Sudha and Evan's friend Kate was staying in the house for reunion last week and she very kindly let me go outside on two occasions. It was really very nice of her. I must remember to send her a thank you note.

Honestly, the outdoors is not all it's cracked up to be. The first night, I bolted out the door and then became so petrified with fear that I stayed on the front porch all night. Evan very kindly let me in again in the morning.

The second incident involved both Sudha and Kate. I bolted out of the house again, and then had about 45 minutes of outdoor adventure before Evan let me in the back door.

They haven't let me out again, which is quite disappointing. I've complained about it to them a lot but they don't seem to understand. I'd love to try to go out again now that I know what to expect.

Anyway, the indoors has been quite fun as well. I was dragged to what is known as the "vet" the other day, it was quite a harrowing experience. Evan got the cat carrier out, which never ceases to amaze me. He set it out on the couch, and I sniffed at it for a good 20 minutes, even knocking it off. When he opened the door, I jumped right in! After a terrifying car ride we got to the vet. I took the liberty of growling and hissing at all the various people that came into the examination room. It turns out I have a reputation for it. One of the women who came in had thick working gloves, a thick apron and held a towel in her hand, ready to tackle me. It was quite undignified.

I have become more cuddly over the last few days. I've come to appreciate being scratched and rubbed when I sit in Evan or Sudha's lap, so I've been doing that more. Last night I spent part of the night underneath the bed covers sleeping on Sudha's feet. It was quite comfortable. I was curled there partly for the warmth and partly to hide from the extremely loud thunderstorm that was taking place outside the window. It was very loud, I was a little intimidated by it.

I also found where they keep the delicious wet food! I found the box, and pulled on of the packets out and mangled it with my teeth and claws last night. It was very delectable. Although Sudha seemed a little angry in the morning.

Well, they've gone off to work again, I'm free to inflict destruction upon the house. Until next time!

Hugs and Hisses

It has been a long period of silence, my furry brothers and sisters. It has been a long, adventurous fortnight. I've grown more and more comfortable and accustomed to this new place I've been living in. There is a cold, dark area through a door and down some stairs that is still quite scary, I've explored there, but don't dare stay very long.

I'd like to take this moment to respond to an infuriating comment left my Rosie the dog on my previous entry. We all know how you did Mitz in in the end, Rosie. You are very famous, among cats. Consider yourself warned that I will not run and hide from you like Mitz did, may she rest in peace. I will stand my ground, arch my back, puff up my tail and hiss before I run away. Do not take this as an empty threat. I been known to do this before.

I don't usually hiss at people, I am usually very outgoing and friendly. However, there were a lot of people at my house last weekend for a "party." Now, some cats would take this as an indication that they should hide and be reclusive, but not me! I will always stand my ground. Evan's co-worker, Monica, gently held out her hand for me to sniff at, and do you know what I did? I hissed at her! This was after I approached her of my own volition. I also hissed at Evan's friend Brian, who had the nerve to pet me when I came within reach.

Consider yourself warned, Rosie the Junkyard Dog from Istanbul, I will not tolerate any of your manginess. I am master here. Let it henceforth be known that I, Her Furry Majesty, Harriet the Minnesotan Barn Cat, that where you and your ilk are concerned, I hold absolute power.

The windows in this new place are fantastic. I have no fewer than 5 window areas where I can perch and prowl and watch the passers by. This "screen" substance on the doors feels quite good on my claws as well. I didn't see many birds go by in the old place, but now, I can see them very clearly. I send them a silent warning; a meow in which my mouth moves but no sound comes out. I do this repeatedly so that they are aware of the danger they are in. Evan and Sudha call it the "invisible meow" but they are unaware of its true, terrifying purpose.

It has been an exciting few weeks. Many creatures to invisible meow at, many people to confuse with my friendly/hissing behavior. Until next time, my furry brothers and sister.

There Is a World Filled with Innocent Creatures to Hunt and Kill

I'm growing to like the new house I live in, my furry brothers and sisters. There are many, many places for me to explore, and there are a lot more windows than before. I have noticed that I'm spending hours upon hours sitting on the back of the couch and staring out the window.

There is a big park right across the way from my new windows, and it is full of things that I would love to catch, maim and kill if I had the chance. I've discovered a new thing called "birds." These things, get this, can actually fly! They zoom past the window and I can't help but dash back and forth meowing profusely.

Evan and Sudha have a new couch that is quite comfortable to sleep on. It's relatively free of cat hair as well, something that I'm going to have to fix in a timely manner. Once I'm exhausted at the window I'll flop down on the couch and sleep for a few hours.

My bathroom contains one of the strangest and most terrifying things. It's a big white box with a round opening on the front. Occasionally Evan or Sudha will come in and fill it with their clothes. I can watch this thing for a long time, but I never get too close, who knows what it could do? It makes these ominous noises and the clothes spin around inside of it.

While I'm on the subject of my bathroom, I have a new litter pan! It's enormous! I try to spray my litter out all over the room, but the walls are too high, I can't get the litter over them.

All in all, I like the new house! It's bright and there are plenty of windows to look out of.

All The Light!!!

My life is over, I've died and gone to hell. A hell filled with bright light and boxes. I must be on my 2nd life now, or is it my third? Nothing makes sense any more!

Four days ago I was unceremoniously snatched up and forced, against my will into the small downstairs bathroom. I escaped with my life, but just barely, only to find that the world was turned upside down. People were all over the place carrying things out of my domain. I tried to run, but Evan caught me and threw me into the upstairs bathroom, which I am sad to say, has a door that latches fully...

Sudha came in a little while later and tossed me into the infernal cat carrier, and then dragged me, clawing and meowing, into the light. I have never been so afraid for my cat self before. They took me in the scary car thing and then locked me in a another room. The noise from outside was deafening, I could here such large things moving back and forth from the other side of the door.

Eventually the noise stopped, and the door opened... and Evan was there. He stepped out of the way and let me through the door. The world that lay through that door was enormous and frightening. I have never seen anything so large and so light.

Since that day I have been carefully exploring every inch of this new place, jumping at every little noise. I dash from cover to cover. The bed I used to hide under is still here, and there's the big green couch I can climb into.

I will update you all again soon with my progress in dealing with this strange place. I need to hide under the bed again for a while!

A Whole New World!

My world is changing. The domain I am so familiar with is slowly transforming into a forest of boxes and suitcases. There are so many wonderful things to climb into and chew on. I have discovered this magnificent material called styrofoam. It was very chewy and extremely fun to bat around.

I've been getting more meals in the form of "wet food." The term "wet food" doesn't begin to do this substance justice. What it really is is a fantastically delicious blend of pungent juices, containing savory hunks of strong smelling meat. It is truly a sensory delight. In fact, it is so good that I can't prevent myself from singing a song every time Sudha or Evan gets one of the packets down from the shelf. 

I have made a nest for myself with Evan's dirty clothes. There is generally a moderate pile of clothes lying on the floor around the laundry hamper upstairs. They are extremely comfortable to curl up on. And they provide an excellent view of the outdoors. I fully support Evan in his practice of putting clothes on the floor rather than in the hamper.

Over the past few days I've been feeling very affectionate. I've been climbing into Evan's lap a lot more, and curling up in the office chair near the computers. I've found out that lying in these strategic places leads to more scratching and rubbing that lying in other places. It's getting to be shedding season, so this also lets me deposit the maximum amount of hair as well.

Despite all these fun activities, my furry brothers and sisters, I can't shake the feeling that something is going on. Evan and Sudha keep muttering cryptic things like "Where will we put your cat's litter pan?" and "I hope she likes the new place." I'm not sure what this new place they are referring to is, but I don't like the sound of it.

I am now alone again. I will spend a lot of quality time staring out the window today. 

The Great Outdoors

It has been a long time, my furry brothers and sisters, since I graced you with a post. It has been a very busy couple of weeks. I had the whole place to myself while Evan and Sudha were in Hawaii. It was a long and lonely time. Emily from upstairs came in a couple times a day to entertain me. She was pretty good at it. She never stayed long enough to completely do my bidding all day, what was a little disappointing.

By the end of the 10 day trip I was getting a little restless. I had no feet to pounce on, no hands to swipe at and bite. I did get some random visitors every now and then. They came in looking around at the apartment. I'm not sure what they were looking for, but I certainly did my best to be underfoot.

Sudha and Evan got home on Monday afternoon. I allowed them to spend quite a bit of quality time petting me. I graced Sudha's lap with my presence for about an hour, then I graced Evan's lap. Then Evan did the most ridiculous thing!

He took a plastic container that was sitting on the counter.... and moved it over to the table! I mean, how could he possibly have the nerve to do such a horrible thing to me? I really don't understand what got into his head at that particular moment. Needless to say, I puffed up my tail, flattened my ears back and clearly demonstrated my displeasure with his action.

I've also found that suitcases are very delicious. I've spent quite a bit of time over the last couple of days chewing on them, sleeping on them, climbing into them. The clothes in them have had a whole 10 days to lose any and all cat hair on them, and I needed to replenish their supplies.

Yesterday, I made it to the outside very briefly. Evan was on the phone, out on the balcony, and Sudha opened the door to go see him, and I sneakily darted out! She caught me and tossed me back in. I got out again when Evan opened the door to look for his keys. I made it to the middle of the balcony that time. But then for some inexplicable reason, I was utterly terrified and became disoriented. Then I was grabbed from behind and thrown back inside again.

Anyway, they've gone off to work again. It's time for my early morning post-sleep nap.

Aloha, Beautiful Freedom

Aloha, my furry brothers and sisters. This is it. This is the start of my beautiful 10 days of freedom from Evan and Sudha tyranny. They are off to to some place called "Hawaii" which sounds very boring. It's always warm and sunny there. No rain drops to watch and to chase. No warm fire to bare my private parts to when it's cold out. I really don't see why they want to go there.

Anyway, Emily, the neighbor and Sudha's co-worker, is going to stop by a couple of times a day to provide my entertainment. I hope she's as good as Evan at scooping the kibble.

Things have been chaotic here over the past couple of days. There are a lot of boxes, bags and suitcases here in my domain. I like to climb in them, but I still don't fully understand them. I chewed off the handles of some of them, and hacked them back up onto the carpet.

I had another duel with the DVD player this afternoon. It makes the most intriguing sounds, I can't help but stick my paws into it, claws bared! It never seems to pay much attention. I eventually gave up and curled up on top of the suitcase instead.

I must attend to my kitty duties for now, my friends. I will fill you in in 10 days time to tell you how my vacation went.

Worship At the Altar of Cuteness

This morning, as I took a magnetic clip off of the refrigerator and carried it upstairs in my mouth, I was struck by how unbelievably cute I am. I mulled it over as I batted the plastic clip back and forth across the hardwood floors. It is astounding how adorable I am. I mean, for being a natural born killing machine, equipped with very sharp teeth and retractable claws, it's truly amazing.

Evan and Sudha were watching a Bollywood movie a couple of days ago, and they just couldn't get enough of me. I like to sit on their laps, but I don't exert myself enough to climb on. I wander over and sprawl on the floor in front of them, looking tired. Then, they will pick me up and put me on their laps, when the worshiping at the alter of my cuteness begins!

Sudha and Evan are preparing to move. The best part about this is that the place is filled with bags and boxes. Just last night, I chewed on one box, then jumped into and took a nap in the other. On Tuesday they came home with these amazing paper bags! I stuck my head into all of them. After they were emptied, I climbed into one of them and began chasing my tail.

Last night, they were watching "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?" and Evan put me on Sudha's lap. I was perched on the end of the recliner, but all throughout the movie, something was moving underneath the blanket. I took it upon myself to kill whatever it was. I didn't want it to interrupt the lovely scratching I expected.

I spent a few minutes cleaning the kitchen floor yesterday evening as well. It was quite dirty. But even more important, there was quite a bit of grated cheese that had fallen to the floor while Evan and Sudha were putting dinner together. I was, needless to say, very delicious.

It's getting lighter earlier in the day now. There is a lot more movement outdoors than there was a month ago. I have spent hours and hours over the last couple of days just sitting by the balcony door and staring outside. It's beautiful out there this time of year.

It's time for another day of napping and destruction, my furry brothers and sisters.

Abandon Hope all Wiis Who Enter Here

I've done it again! I chewed through another feeble Wii Sensor Bar cable! This beautiful cable is exactly the right size. Thin and not too tough, my mighty teeth go through in no time!

It's been an interesting weekend. Early Saturday morning I found another bottle cap, brought it up stairs and did battle with it underneath the bed. The hardwood floors upstairs make great bottle cap battling arenas. Evan very unceremoniously threw me from the room after that, and I was only able to re-enter several hours later, chirping and meowing my head off.

It started as a relaxing morning. I got some delicious wiskas food, and even an egg yolk! But I was distracted from them. Sudha and Evan tore the whole place apart, doing what they referred to as "purging." They took a whole bunch of chew-toys and threw them into bags and boxes to "sell" (whatever that means). I must confess, I completely forgot about the scrumptious breakfast I had waiting for me in my bowl. Until Evan picked me up and put me in front of it, then I remember and stuffed my face!

The red dot continues to be a plague upon my consciousness. Sometimes I think I'm this close to catching it, other times I am consumed with despair. It is even more agile than I am; able to climb up walls and doors. Perhaps I should attempt to communicate with it and learn it's secrets.

That's all for now! I've got a glorious day of napping and destruction ahead of me!

Chirp, Chirp, Chirp! And Beer!

I think I'm getting a little old, my furry friends. I've started chirping now and then. It seems to happen especially when I jump off of things. For example, I'll be sleeping on the couch, I'll get up, and jump off to go get some kibble, and at the moment I hit the ground, I always let loose an involuntary chirping noise. It's quite undignified.

I overheard Evan telling Sudha that other cats do this all the time. So perhaps it's nothing to worry about.

Beer, my friends, is a wonderful thing. I love it! I don't care that much for the liquid itself. Evan and Sudha seem to like it. But the best part about beer is the bottle caps! Every time I hear that lovely "clink, clink, clink" I always dash over to the kitchen. I especially like them when the bottle cap is bent in half. I will pick it up in my mouth and take it either to the bathroom or the kitchen and bat it around for a long time on the hard floor!

In fact, just last night, I found a bottle cap that I had hidden somewhere. I spend a good half hour batting it around the floor of the bathroom before Sudha took it away from me.

Last night Sudha came downstairs shortly after both of my humans had gone to bed. She lay down and read on the bed downstairs for a while. I thought I would keep her company, so I pounced onto her belly several times. She must have liked it as I got a good reaction out of her!

I had a good breakfast this morning, a few chomps of kibble and some delicious fresh water! Evan and Sudha have left for work now, time for my day-long nap!

Reading about Vegan-ism

I apologize for my long silence, my furry brothers and sisters! I have been focused, completely and utterly, on the infernal red dot. when it's not haunting my waking moments, it haunts my subconscious! Over the last few days it stopped showing up, I think I may finally have succeeded in killing it.

Reading, I don't really understand it. Every night, before they go to sleep, Evan and Sudha lie and bed a read these things called "books." I've been trying to put a stop to this disgusting habit for a while now, but the other day was quite successful. I placed my whole body between Sudha's face and this "book" while she was staring at it. When she dumped me on the floor, I hopped back up onto the bed and batted my paws all over the page so she couldn't see it! I got 5 minutes of pleasurable ear-scratching by doing this, I should try it again sometime!

Another thing that the humans like to do is stand in this white tub and pour water over themselves. Every morning I try to go in there and examine it after they leave to see what is so fascinating about it. There are little droplets of water running down the side of the tub that are a blast to play with! I can only assume that this is why they like to do this every morning. It can't be related to cleanliness, because any normal creature cleans itself with it's tongue!

This morning I found a very curious object on the floor of the kitchen. It was cube-shaped, and had some delicious sauce all over it. I brought it out into the living room, and started chewing on it, when Evan asked why I had a piece of "Tow Foo."

It was quite scrumptious, I should look into this phenomenon more.

Hunger! Evil Red Dots!

Horror! Terror and destruction! My inept humans forgot to feed me yesterday morning! My glorious, fascinating and informative life flashed before my eyes! I've never known such excruciating discomfort!

I raged and raged for about five minutes, then I promptly forgot all about it. Instead, I found some socks that Sudha had just bought, with the packaging still on, I might add, and dragged them downstairs.

Then, naturally, I slept most of the day.

They realized their mistake when they got home, so I got a nice big helping of kibble for dinner, and an egg yolk!

Sudha made cupcakes last night while Evan was out, and then left them out on the counter to cool when she, in turn, went out. I got several good whiffs in as I stood up on the forbidden counter. They smelled quite delicious, but as I'm watching my fuzzy frame, I, thankfully, did not eat any of them.

Evan spent most of the evening on his computer, ignoring me, so I went upstairs and put cat hair on his pillow. I really wouldn't want him to miss out.

I have to confide in you all, I hope you don't think I'm crazy for mentioning this. Lately a mysterious red dot has been appearing and moving about the room, taunting and insulting me! And though I am loathe to admit it, this infernal dot is faster than me! I scream at it, dash at it, pounce on it, and it always stays one step ahead of me.

The red dot is beginning to rival my arch-nemesis, the dreaded plastic hair clip, in determination. I keep fighting these intruders, and yet they keep coming back.

Evan and Sudha have gone to work again for now. I will sleep on this new development, perhaps all day, to see if inspiration strikes

Favoritism and Shattered Vision

My fuzzy reign of terror continues, my be-clawed brothers and sisters! This last weekend was very successful on the scale of both cuteness and destruction.

I finally made it through the shoe laces on Sudha's boots. It took me a few months, but I got them! Sudha played "pounce" with me again on Friday. I don't think she realizes that I have both very sharp teeth and retractable claws.

Saturday morning was great, the sun was shining outside, I sat on the windowsill for a while in the early morning watching the unsuspecting woodland creatures go about their pointless lives. They know that if I really wanted to I could get through the glass and bite their little heads off!

I jumped up onto the bedside table today, thinking I'd try something new. It was quite rewarding: I ended up knocking Sudha's glasses off, followed shortly by a book which landed right on top of them! She seemed pretty mad. One of the ear pieces broke off. I mean seriously, is that really such a big deal. Where was breakfast, after all? After this incident she began referring to me as "Evan's Cat."

To get revenge, I specifically sat on Evan's lap on Sunday evening while watching TV. He tried to put me on her lap, but I got up and went back to Evan's. That'll show her!

Well, they've finally gone to work again, I'm free to continue my household projects. My next one is taking the rubber lining at the bottom of the door and ripping it off completely. It's most of the way done, but it's hard getting it to go the rest of the way.

Loneliness, Toilet Paper and Underwear

This last weekend, Evan and Sudha left me alone for 3 whole days! 3 days!! Left with nothing but an unceremoniously dumped mound of food in my bowl.

The experience was hell, I can't believe a human would do that to me! All I had to do was sleep and use the litter pan! There were no ankles to maul, no servants to do my bidding and scratch me behind the ears.

There were, however, rolls of toilet paper to be unraveled and counters to climb on. Evan and Sudha long since stopped putting toilet paper in the holder downstairs, deliberately stealing my fun. But not to worry, there was one upstairs. I took the liberty of unrolling it for them and spreading it around the floor of the bathroom.

I spent a lot of quality time on the counter, next to the dishes in the tray that Evan washed just before he left. I wouldn't want them to be bereft of beautiful cat hair!

Evan came back on Monday night. I made my displeasure known by meowing a lot, dashing around, and helping him unpack. I tried to open his suitcase for him using my teeth and claws, he didn't seem to appreciate it. He did serve me a delicious meal of fine Whiskas food. A purr comes to the surface when I think about it.

Last night, I spent some time asleep in Evan's underwear drawer. He was putting away the laundry, and was quite taken aback that I was there. But really, he left it open, so what did he expect?

I got so used to being on the counter over the weekend, and I jumped up there again this morning, and sniffed at the dishes. I got quite a large spray of water from the bottle! Curses.

Anyway, for good measure, I swiped at Evan's hands and head as he went up and down the stairs. He's gone to work now. Let's see what else I can destroy!

Help with Packing!

Last night I helped Evan and Sudha pack for their trip to Chicago this weekend. Neither of them are very good at it. All they really do is toss clothes into the suitcases. I showed them how packing is really done. Packing is about concealing yourself in a partially empty suitcase and reaching out and clawing unsuspecting passers-by.

I sat in front of my fireplace for a while yesterday. As the fire gets warmer and warmer, I slowly "pour" away from it, sliding out of my cat throne and displaying my belly and private parts in all their furry glory, to the world.

My humans pay homage to me whenever I do this, I'm glad I have them well trained.

I helped some with the laundry as well. I love doing laundry, with all the warm, comfortable clothes hanging on the stair railing, I love sinking my claws into them and curling up, spreading the glory of my hair all over them.

This morning I woke up early again, and continue my campaign against Sudha's feet. They keep coming back no matter how often I attack them. I admire them for their endurance.

But I got my revenge later. I secretly perched on top of the faucet in the bathtub and crouched there behind the shower curtain.... waiting. When Sudha came in for her shower, I waited until she pulled back the curtain, and scared the daylights out of her!

I'm feeling generous today though, while Evan and Sudha are at work, I think I'll help them with the laundry some more, and keep taking down the clothes and putting cat hair on them. You can never have too much cat hair!

My Reign of Fuzzy Terror

I had a good, long, nap yesterday afternoon. It was interrupted by occasional trips to the litter pan to scritch, scritch, scritch. I did my best to launch as much litter as I could around the room.

Sudha "played" with me a little bit in the evening before bed. She likes to pretend she can out-pounce a natural born predator. I quickly showed her that my powers of stalking, and attacking are much more advanced than hers are!

They found the blasted spray bottle again! I'm just going to have to find more subtle ways to assert my authority over the other, more primitive members of this kingdom.

For example, I've found that pouncing is becoming less and less effective. I enjoy more the direct swiping kind of approach. Early this morning, instead of pouncing on the feet hidden under the blanket, I reached under the bed clothes, and swiped at the exposed skin of the leg and foot directly, claws bared! I find this is ultimately more effective and satisfying than attacking the feet and legs through the comforter.

Once Evan was awake, I tried this tactic again. I gracefully bounded up the spiral staircase and got a couple good swipes at his hands before he even knew what hit him.

I got through most of the cable connecting the Wii-Remote to the nunchuck attachment last night. It's kind of a thick cable, but my teeth are sharp, I'll get it eventually.

To further my campaign against the Wii, I did manage to climb behind the television and chew through the small cable connecting the sensor bar to the main console. I perched on my favorite place on the spiral stairs above the fireplace and watched him wonder, for 20 minutes, why his wiimotes weren't working!

Evan and Sudha are gone at work again. My project for today will be to knock as many silly hedgehog figurines from the stairwell as possible! Those infernal things taunt me every time I go by!

The Demise of the Spray Bottle

At last, my furry brothers and sisters, victory is mine! It is now four days since the dreaded spray bottle has been hidden. No one is safe any longer! I can bite, swipe, and climb onto the table and counter without fear of retribution.

This morning, I was locked in single combat with my arch enemy: the plastic hair clip. Back and forth our battle raged across the dusty landscape beneath the bed, neither of us gaining the upper hand. Then suddenly, I was thrown from the room by Sudha, who understands little of the importance of early morning struggles with inanimate household objects.

The kibble was particularly delicious this morning, and expertly scooped out by Evan, one of my hired paws. Both he and Sudha seemed a little down this morning, so I meowed at them a few times, and stuck my head into a cereal bowl on the table.

My bathroom expansion project is going well. I've nearly succeeded in covering the entire room with kitty litter. It's nice of Evan and Sudha to keep filling up the box in the corner with all the materials I need.

Well, they've left for work now. I have dragged some comfortable socks to the floor downstairs for them to use when they get back, it's quite cold!