All Quiet on the Kitty Front

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, my furry brothers and sisters! This weeks marks the last week in the year of our cat 2010. It has been an exciting year. This was the first full year I spent in my new house. As the year winds down, my humans spend their time travelling to see family(whatever that is) and preparing for a new years party. Really what the word party means to me is an opportunity to hide from a bunch of strangers and hiss at them if they get too close.

I had a good week alone in the house; the kindly neighbor man came over to feed me a couple times a day. He must have been notified of my diet, because he stopped feeding me a lot more than my regular humans do.

Evan and Sudha returned home from the mystical country of Switzerland last Monday, and were very pleasantly excited to see me. I love it when my minions lavish attention on me. Naturally, I try to return the favor. I'm hoping they don't notice that they haven't trimmed my claws in quite some time. But I think Evan definitely is catching on. Both of my humans have taken to calling me their "furry alarm clock." I usually take my cue from the real alarm clock, which they frequently don't hear, then I climb onto the side of the bed next to Evan and reach under the cover to wake him up. My only motivation is that I don't want him to be late for work!

Evan is the one that feeds me every morning. It's gotten to the point where I will just ignore Sudha if she is awake before him because it's breaking the pattern. I must say, both of them are very good at dispensing the kibble, but there's just something about the way Evan does it in the morning. Sudha's better at doing it in the afternoon when they come home.

There is some good news from Switzerland though: Evan's mother, who's lap I graced with my divine presence around Thanksgiving time, is in remission. Her chemo and radiation is done with and everything is looking good. Clearly the moral of this story is that anyone who needs curing of any kind needs a cuddly cat to sleep on their lap. I'm not sure how anyone could deny the healing power of my tiny, fuzzy, presence.

I am looking forward to next year, 2012, which Evan informs me is the last year of life as we know it. I will see you next year, my furry brothers and sisters!

Stepping Lightly in a Kitty Wonderland

It's beginning to feel a lot like that time of year where I get left in the cold house for a week, my furry brothers and sisters. I'm not sure why my humans have to leave in the first place, but to add insult to injury, they feel the need to turn down the heat while they are gone. It's truly a far cry from the glory days of summer when I can bask in the scalding temperatures that are more befitting my heritage as a desert creature. Would it be so much to ask for to allow me to operate the thermostat?

It's not all bad though, the kindly old neighbor human comes over to serve me. He is quite generous with the kibble portions. Usually he also gives me a treat of wet food once or twice during the week.

Contrary to my reputation, I am quite cuddly and adorable. It takes me quite some time to get used to a new human. Sometimes this process take take weeks, but occasionally I can tolerate someone after a few days. I mentioned my human's mother a couple of posts ago, I hadn't quite forgiven her for bringing the cold weather with her yet. But I rather quickly warmed up to her, in comparison to other visitors. She spent most of her time on the la-z-boy recliner, so was ultimately non-threatening. On her third day here in my house I decided to take a nap on her lap and let her scratch me behind the ears. I think she was rather pleased. She seemed like she could use the loving attention of a superior being like myself.

I sat on her lap again after they all got back from their Thanksgiving trip.

I tried something new a few weeks ago: lay down on the couch next to someone who was over for dinner. Evan and Sudha's friends, Paul and Tara, came over, and brought Tara's Dad and Sister. I graciously allowed Tara's sister to sit in the spot next to me on the couch without so much of a hiss.

I did hiss later, to be sure, but that's to be expected.

Anyway, I wish you all a merry Christmas and a happy new year!

In Memoriam

It has been a sad weekend, my furry brothers and sisters. My canine counterpart from across the sea has passed away. She was a lovely old girl. Here are some pictures of her provided by Evan's sister Jane. Below the pictures is a note from Rosie that her human found when going through her things.

Sevgili kediciğim Harriet,

I can't write much, forgive me.  I have to go in a little while for my rabies shot.

The salutation is in Turkish, the language of my birth masters.  I've had the urge lately to do some digging around my roots, so when Feed-and-walk-me Female is out during the day I bone up on my Turkish. I can't get up to the desktop computer anymore.  Thanks heavens for the iPad.  So intuitive.  The screen licks clean very nicely.

Mistress is not coming home smelling of chemicals so much now, but rather of sunburn.  The weather has been dry and often sunny, but her face is not red, so I wonder. The sunning place must be far off, because she comes home very tired.  I do my best to make things easy for her, taking my pills easily and not lingering before doing my business when she takes me out.  I make it clear that the walks can be short.

I had a bout of The Gushing Bottom not long ago accompanied by some heaves.  Both Mistress and Early Up Male were patient with me, but they were put out.  I did my best to drop it all on the (Turkish) carpet where it would be less noticeable, but they took great pains to eradicate all my careful work. Then they tried to starve me!  Nothing at all for more than 36 hours, and after that a fraction of the normal haul.  

Then much whispering and hand wringing when Happy Hug Talk Female came back carrying scents new to me.  Much talking into the plastic thing in their hands. Significant looks in my direction.  Then they started to feed me some more, my troubled innards having calmed down, and I started to feel good again.  Whereupon all three bipeds seemed to cheer up.  They have a thing about firm stools, I guess.

Home-in-the-evenings Person has brushed me twice recently.  About time.  I know you cats are proud of your fur, but you should  see mine.  And stroke it.  Everyone says it's exquisite.  Brushing Male was quite overcome the other day as he undid my tangles.

Since the bad patch I have been getting even more food than normal.  But I must say that the overall service is not what it could be.  Since I cannot always get up, depending on where I've settled down, I naturally have to call for assistance.  This at first confuses them, as if, after 12 years, they still have trouble telling my calls apart.  No, there's no one at the door.  Please just lift my ass up so I can take a little drink.

I was thinking of laying down some post-its to remind myself of where not to lie, but that would give away much and we don't want the delusional Tall Ones cottoning on to the Great Dog Ruse.

It also seems to bother them that I sometimes fall down when walking or when going for the perfect angle of pee or poop.   I agree about the poop, and am careful to stay up, but when you gotta pee and you can't get up, you just pee.  

The other day the carrying box would not accept us inside so Porter Male carried me down the dreaded steps.  It was sweet, if tense.

We had a visit from some very nice humans for a visit last week.  Cooking Woman  was very tired, but she and her pack mate Kiwi fixed up that dinner with cheese and potatoes and it smelled very fine. Especially the thin slices of meat.  The visitors had a bitch pup who was very engaging and nice with me.  She agreed about my fur being so nice and planted a few highly appropriate kisses on my coat.  

I am tired and cannot do much, and I admit to more and more frequent moments of concern, as when I can't get up to take a drink when there are no bipeds at home.   Or when the building cats don't bother to move away when I shuffle up to them.  Movement is getting harder and harder and and I am not strong.  

Beautiful and sweet only get a bitch so far.

Still, I'm happy.

Anyway, Puss, I have to go. Take care of yourself.

Rosie

My House, in the Middle of My Street

It has been too long, my furry brothers and sisters. Winter is finally settling upon us here in the cold northern wastelands. It snowed on Saturday, just in time for Evan's mother to come into town. Strangely, it's as if she brought it with her just to spite me. As I dictate this to my human, I am at home alone with Catherine, Evan's mother. She seems to want me to sit on her lap, but I haven't quite forgiven her for the affront of bringing the cold weather with her all the way from Switzerland.

Speaking of Switzerland, I have some unfortunate news for you all. Rosie, the loyal canine who guest posted her for us once has passed away. Please keep her and her manservant, John, in your thoughts. John has provided me with a note that he found among Rosie's personal affects, and I will be posting it here after this entry is concluded.

My month has also been quite busy. I had my annual vet appointment a few weeks ago. Evan asked me very nicely to try to keep the hissing to a minimum this time around, and I did my best. I managed to only hiss once, and let go one low growl. I mean, wouldn't you want to hiss and growl if someone was taking your temperature from the rear-end? In addition, they felt the need to "clean" me out back there as well. As a result, I've been deliberately licking that region in front of my humans more often, just to make them feel uncomfortable. It really only seemed to make them laugh, though, so I stopped it.

Winter usually brings with it a distinct lack of creatures to stalk through the windows, but the last week has been very much an exception. Not one, but two different cats have come up to the back door to harass me lately. One orange tabby cat, and one mixed orange and white cat. The tabby put on quite a show for my humans, and they infuriatingly gave it a little bit of food to eat out of "pity." I made my displeasure known unmistakably. Other cats do NOT get fed at my house!

Speaking of being fed, I am now on a much stricter diet than I was even before. The vet very insultingly said I needed to lose another pound or 2. I have to say, I am wasting away here. I am not getting enough food to maintain my adorable belly. I'm usually hungry again a couple of hours after breakfast and dinner. And now my gullible humans are feeding me even less than they were before.

I get revenge in my own ways. My new thing is sitting on Evan's chest in the morning and rubbing my paw against the blanket right next to his face. I usually do this very early in the morning. I am going to have the house to myself for a few days over Thanksgiving. The kindly neighbor man is going to come by to feed me. I like him, he worships at the alter of my beauty and cuteness.

Until next time my furry brothers and sisters. Please stay tuned for a lovely guest post from the dearly departed Rosie.

A Canine from Across the Pond

Today I got a message from the dog Rosie, who currently resides in Switzerland with Evan's Parents. So today is a guest post, of sorts, from Rosie:

Harriet, hi.

Hork up any good hairballs lately?

Things are quiet here.  I can't walk much, but my digestive track is working ok and it's been a while since I've had to rush a warm gushy cream-hued heave out onto one of the better Turkish carpets.  I'm Turkish, so where should I heave?  No recent butt-geysers either.  Guy-with-Funny-Whine-Voice seems to like not having to use that little spray container with the chemical smell (offensive when offal would do nicely) and all those bunches of white paper to wipe it all up.  In obvious gratitude (he is well-trained) he now gives me more scraps when he's taking the chicken off the bones of a roaster.  I am grateful.

The other day I caught a sniff of my arch, the Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever, and launched myself down the stone-like stairs at him.  He is the only male dog who must die and I don't know why.  That is just how it is and I will not be swayed from this universal imperative.  Anyway, his scent seared my nostrils and I was lost in the passion of the moment.  My hind quarter problem got the better of me when I hit the bottom of the stairs and I could only lie there barking and snarling.  Still, neither he nor his owner (Yellow-headed Nordic Biped by breed) have been back on my turf.  It's not that I don't like breed dogs.  That black dude I first came up with, back in the day, he was well bred.  And, oh, did I like his scent.

Female-Who-Does-All-I-Need is much absent of late during the day and very tired in the evenings.  She comes home smelling of many complex compounds I do not know (what dumps does she roam when I am not there to guide her?) and I am afraid she knows more pain than I. Her spirits smell intact, however, and she has maintained focus on the priority of caring for me, so all is well and many moments are sweet.

The weather has turned with short days and cold rain and the Magic of the Warm Tiled Floor has once again appeared (I must make an offering).  This allows me to lie spread out on the floor soaking up the warmth.

Woof for now,

Rosie

Feline Summer

We are in the midst of what is referred to as an "Indian Summer," my furry brothers and sisters. I'm not really sure why it's called that. It has something to do with snow melting and American Indian raiding parties attacking white people. Although it's really beyond me why anyone would hunt or raid in a party. As we superior beings have demonstrated, hunting alone is clearly better. How could you possibly sneak up and pounce on anything if there is whole group of you?

Anyway, what the phrase actually refers to is a period of summer-like weather during the Autumn. The past few days have been very lovely and warm, with high temperatures in the upper 80s! But there are still plenty of fallen leaves blowing around for me to stare at longingly through the window.

I think the warm weather is bringing other unwanted visitors to the house. I have come to the realization that I am not the only cat in the neighborhood. I mean, I thought this may be the case when I heard my humans talking about other cats, but this year several of these "others" have come up to the back door of my house. They stand on the deck and look in the window at me. There is one black and white cat named tuxedo who comes by occasionally. There is one calico, who's name I don't know, who has been stopping by. I try to scream insults at them, but they don't seem to hear them. I don't think it's doing much for my reputation around the neighborhood.

Speaking of my reputation, I think Evan and Sudha's human friends don't like me very much. So I've been slowly trying to work on that. It has now been at least six times in a row where visitors have come to my house and I have refrained from hissing at them. Now letting them pet me, that's a whole different story. There are only a few people who I trust enough to pet me. Strangely, each of them has fed me at some point or another. I wonder if there's any pattern to this?

I have been spending more nights on the bed with my humans lately. Now that it's not brutally hot all the time, it's  nice to hog a good chunk of the bed with my tiny body. I think they still like it though, as long as I don't swipe at their feet.

Until next time my furry brothers and sisters!

The Cats of August

The summer is winding to a close, my furry brothers and sisters. It has been an exiting few months of staring out the window, sleeping, eating, staring out the window, using the litter pan, hanging from the screens, and staring out the window. I can tell you right now that I'm not looking forward to the seasons where the windows will be closed.

Winter up here in the cold, frozen northern wastes of Minnesota do have some benefits, though. My humans, Evan and Sudha will soon be graced by my presence at the foot of their bed, and more frequently on their laps!

My humans were out of the house for a week celebrating Rachel and Fernando's wedding in the middle of August. Everyone please give them your best wishes. The best part of that week for me is that the kindly neighbor man comes over to scoop my kibble for me. He is a very nice and cat-loving old man, and he feeds me a lot more than my regular humans do. I deigned to allow him to pet me after a few days of feeding me. It really does take me a long time to learn to tolerate any other humans other than my own. That's usually why I hiss at them when they try to pet me too forcefully.

I've slowly started to rethink the hissing philosophy, however. I recently discovered that less hissing usually ends up with more scratching behind the ears, and less water being shot at me from the big spray bottle. I haven't hissed at guests for the last 3-4 visits. Evan and Sudha seem to be pleased, not that that matters a whole lot.

Instead, I've started to focus my energy on finding newer more creative ways to wake my humans up in the morning when I feel it's breakfast time. First, I tried the brute-force approach: I went up to Evan's pillow, rubbed my paw against it repeatedly and then meowed directly in his ear. That seemed to be very effective. Unfortunately I've had to tone it down a bit, because it seems they have now learned to throw me out of the room when I do things like that.

Sudha's little sister, Suma, was in town a couple weekends ago. I remember when she used to live in my house. She really likes me and thinks I'm adorable (naturally) but sometimes pretends not to. So this time, just to re-enforce my cuteness, I decided to take a nice nap in her lap! Now, if I do say so myself, there isn't much better than a cute, purring cat sitting on your lap and keeping it warm for you on a cold day.

Until next time, my furry brothers and sisters!

A Kitty Anniversary

It has been too long, my furry brothers and sisters, too long since I have graced your eyes with the undisputed glory and power of my presence. A lot has happened since my last post. A whole month has gone by, Evan has taken a trip abroad, Sudha wasn't working, therefore preventing me from stealing her bourbon and watching TV as is my usual custom.

The most important thing is that on July 14th I turned 3 years old! Sudha and Evan celebrated this by going out to dinner the other night. They like to say they're celebrating they're "anniversary" or some such nonsense, but how could they be doing anything other than celebrating my glorious existence?

It has been a long month of house guests. Now, those of you who have met me in person, or those of you who read this blog on a regular basis will know that I'm really inclined to like strangers very much. Fernando arrive first, and stayed with me for a week. I tolerate this guest because he has fed me upon occasion. Then Rachel arrived. Fernando and Rachel are getting married later this month, so please congratulate them if you see them. Anyway, they were in town to celebrate their last moments of bachelore(tte)-hood. I do have to say that I am extremely good at throwing a party. People always talk about me, always try to be me, and then always have to cower in terror as I hiss. I could hide myself upstairs away from the guests, but this is MY house! They should be the ones doing the hiding!

Evan was out of town for the party, he was helping his mother in Switzerland. I'm sure he was very upset to have missed my party.

The next guest was Kate. She has also fed me before, though I do recall I hissed at her once or twice.

Following that Evan's cousins John and Jill stayed with me. Now Jill has the right idea about things. The first thing she did when she saw me was to attempt to bribe me with cat treats and small bowls of cream. I still appreciate her effort, although it still takes several days for me to deign to acknowledge a new human's attention.

John, on the other hand, there was something off about that one. I've seen him before, but he never pays any attention to me. To punish him for this, I decided to perch myself on the top of the stairs early on the last day of his stay. When he came out to attempt to go down and get coffee, I not only hissed, but did my (quite terrifying) low growl. I think it scared him so much he went back into his room and wouldn't leave until one of my regular humans showed up. I love the power I have over the more feeble minded species I'm forced to co-exist with.

Finally, Sudha's family was in town last weekend. Now, I've met most of them before, and I got through a whole weekend of not hissing at any strangers. I even went so far as to let a couple of them pat me on the head.

I really am quite an adorable cat, if I do say so myself. I can't fault any of these lesser beings from wanted to lavish me with love and affection.

I can't believe that it is already August. This shedding season is going by so quickly I don't even know what to do with myself. So the cold dark of winter will again be upon us, so I must work tirelessly to spread my hair out as much as I possibly can.

Until next time, my furry brothers and sisters!

Kitties & Allies

Shedding season is in full swing, my furry brothers and sisters. I love running through the morning sunbeams, high on catnip, leaving a fin mist of hair behind me as I do battle with the toy mouse. The only downside to this is that the scary vacuum cleaner seems to emerge more often during this season.

Last weekend Evan had his friend Andrew over for an epic game of "Axis & Allies." I'm not sure how they play this game, but for me, it's a great opportunity to jump up onto the table in the office room and bat lots of little pieces. It seriously reduces the epicness of the game when I can just jump up and disrupt the military forces of the entire world with a swipe of my paw. I do like taunting the players in that manner.

Speaking of visitors, the funniest thing happened yesterday. A dog came around to visit the house. A very funny looking mutt. I believe Evan and Sudha had the strange notion that they might adopt a dog. If they had just consulted me I could have told them the folly of doing so, but they didn't. I knew something was up when they closed up upstairs in the laundry room. They then let me out and I trotted downstairs just as usual to find the dog in my hallway! I went up to the dog and sniffed at its face. Sudha and Evan both act pretty surprised. I'm not sure why, the dog seemed pretty cowardly. I did arch my back and puff out my tail just to make sure that the intruder knew her place.

After this initial meeting, I then stayed 3-4 feet from the dog at all times. She seemed more scared of me than I was of her, honestly, I started chasing her around and hurling insults.

In the end though, my humans decided not to keep the dog. It was sad, because they seemed to like her, and I admit it was quite entertaining to chase her around. But I think they made the right decision, they've got a lot of things going on right now.

They both seemed much more eager to pet and cuddle me yesterday after the interlude with the dog, so I'm not complaining. I spent the remainder of yesterday afternoon and evening sitting by the back door. At one point I did jump up and hang from the screen door again.

Anyway, Evan, who usually transcribes my blog posts here for me, will out of town for about 10 days starting in a couple of weeks, so my next post may be even more delayed than usual. Evan's mother is unfortunately going through chemotherapy right now, and he is going to Switzerland (wherever that is) to help her out. Please keep her in your thoughts!

Until next time my furry brothers and sisters.

Wide Open Windows

Just two nights ago, my furry brothers and sisters, my humans opened the windows in the house for the first time this year. This is a most glorious occasion, the sites and smells and sounds that come from outside are quite amazing. I have celebrated this momentous happening by starting to jump up onto and climb in the screen door.  I'd never thought to do this before, and I must say it was very rewarding. Evan and Sudha were quite surprised to see me 4 feet off the ground hanging from the screen, but they'll get over it.

There is unfortunately a downside to the open-windows season: fans. In case you don't know what a fan is, it is some sort of infernal demon that blows air at me and makes me very uncomfortable. Evan even took it upon himself to deliberately point the thing at me. I took revenge by pouncing on his feet at 6 am this morning.

My humans are travelling quite a bit recently. They were out for four days, and are apparently leaving me alone for another four days this weekend. The kindly neighbor came by to feed me, and when I say feed, I mean feed. He was VERY generous with the food. So much so that when Evan and Sudha got back they took one look at me and started calling me "tubs." Needless to say, they have put me back on the infernal diet. Now I eat my food almost right away and then start complaining for more.

It's a good thing they are going away this weekend again and the nice neighbor will feed me an appropriate amount.

Going back to the subject of the outdoors: I've been making more concerted efforts to escape recently than I have in the past. Just the other day, in fact, I got out onto the front porch, and almost manage to hide under the bushes before Evan grabbed me. Any time the back door slides open, I'm there, pushing to get out. I've not yet managed to get passed the back deck yet, but I will someday!

I've heard talk recently about how cats are able to know who's allergic to them, or who is afraid of them while looking at a room full of humans. I will take this moment to say that that is absolutely true. Evan and Sudha's friend Jonathan has been coming over to watch "A Game of Thrones," and he is quite allergic to cats. We just have a sixth sense about these kinds of things. So I made extra sure to be friendly to him, to console him to my presence. I sat near his spot on the couch, I rubbed my body against his legs a few time. I really just wanted to make sure he was not afraid of me any more.

It's been nice here in Minnesota since Spring finally arrived a couple of weeks ago. I predict that it's going to be a brutally hot summer. But I'm just a cat, so what do I know?

A Clash of Kitties

My humans have become obsessed, my furry brothers and sisters, with a new TV show called "A Game of Thrones." They have been inviting people over every Sunday for the past three weeks to watch it! Now, I'm not usually a cat to turn down the opportunity to assert my authority over other living creatures, but we're talking a lot of humans here! You already know that I'm somewhat suspicious of strangers, but it just gets worse when there are 5 or six of them in the same room.

Not only do they make me suspicious, I think they are mocking me behind my back. For example, two Sundays ago, I had a hair-raising run-in with the TV stand in front of everyone. One of the doors on the TV stand was opened, and I felt it would be nice to use it to scratch the side of my face. The door swung in as I rubbed against it, then suddenly swung back out and startled me, causing me to jump and puff out my tail in fear. Now, I would have thought nothing of this, but everyone in the room burst into uproarious laughter. It was as if they were just waiting for me to do something ridiculous.

Anyway, going back to the original topic, "A Game of Thrones" is some nerdy fantasy series that my humans seem to enjoy. One of the main themes of it is that "winter is coming." In that vein, I thought I'd post a picture of myself braving the horrors of the Minnesota winter. It is technically spring here, but let's put things in perspective: just the other day as Evan and Sudha left for the work in the morning there were snow flakes falling from the sky! I've still been trying to escape recently whenever either of my servants opens one of the doors. But my efforts have been rather lackluster due to the cold.

However, the spring scene outside my windows is still very entertaining and engaging. These things called "leaves" have started blowing by the window, and blowing onto the deck. I'm not really sure what they are or where they come from, but they tend to yell insults at me as the blow by. I respond in kind, and try my best to get through the glass at them.

Leaves aren't the only thing that has returned with the springtime. The squirrels and rabbits are much more active these days, as well as the evil other cats from the neighborhood.

I don't know if you recall, but a nefarious usurper going by the name of Tuxedo spent some time trying to steal away my humans last year. He's back. Sudha spotted him out of the kitchen window, and both of the human help seemed to be pretty happy about it.

Just last night, however, another cat showed itself. I don't know this one's name, but she is much smaller and shyer than Tuxedo is. Sudha and Evan were in the living room after completing their serving duties, and I was by the back deck door. This cat, a darker tabby just got up on the deck and came over to the door. She just sat there! I puffed up my tail and scream and swiped at her, but she just stayed where she was, looking in through the window at me. Evan and Sudha came over to see what the commotion was. Once this intruder saw them she ran away.

What bothers me about this whole situation is that my humans seemed happy that there was some stranger hanging out on their porch. Now, I don't know where they get the idea that they have the right to decide who gets to stay on my porch, but it is MY porch. Just as this house is my house, and everything revolves around me.

That is all for this time, my furry brothers and sisters. I have to mentally prepare for another visit of rude humans this Sunday.

And End to Cuddling

Spring is finally back, my furry brothers and sisters. This means a lot of things to a creature of my staggering intelligence. First, it means that the birds have returned. With them, there is a lot more activity in the local population of woodland creatures. As such, starting around this time of year I become glued to the windows and completely ignore everything else that doesn't involve food.

Over the winter months I was quite cuddly. It gets cold here in Minnesota, and sitting on a nice warm lap is very comfortable. But now it's warmer, and there are creatures to fantasize about maiming, and I just don't need those warm laps any more. Evan and Sudha are a little disappointed by this, but they'll get over it.

Evan was sick with a stomach bug the other day, and to help him out, I completely ignored him and stared out the window instead. Sudha picked him up and put me on her lap and began scratching me behind the ears. I leaped off of her and ran back to the window.

I really don't think my humans understand.

The other thing that comes back with the Spring is my eagerness to escape. I still haven't been able to get out of the house since last summer, but that isn't to say I don't try my hardest. Yesterday Evan was on a phone call on the back deck. I made him almost completely tackle me when he came back in to prevent me from getting out. When Sudha went out to check the mail the other day, I was lying in wait!

The last thing that I love about spring is that it is the season where I can start spreading my delicious and pungent cat hairs over the entire house again. I find that clean, folded piles of laundry are the best suited for this purpose. So when I take my rare breaks from the window to nap, I try to find one of these to sleep on.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have to get back to all this!

Nooks and Crannies

Sleeping is a very important part of my life, my furry brothers and sisters. I have discovered some lovely little hiding places that offer great cat naps recently. Evan and Sudha had a dinner party the other night, and they put a lovely Syrian tablecloth on the table. This provides me with excellent cover to both perch and sleep on the dining room chairs. As they and their friends were sitting down to eat, I installed myself on one of the empty chairs, and stealthily swiped at their legs!

I'm also using it as a nice dark place to nap. They also have this butcher block in the dining room that is covered by a cloth as well. I've hollowed out a place for myself inside this lying on the pile of placements.

Sleeping is truly a wonderful thing.

Eating is also a very wonderful thing, and ever since I've been forcibly put onto my latest diet I've been devising new ways to procure food. I've already told you about my swiping and pouncing tactics with regards to my sleeping humans in the morning, those still work sometimes, but they've started locking me out of the room when I do that.

Another thing I tried was to physically claw my way into the cat food bag and gorge myself overnight. This was truly wonderful, but too obvious. They hid the bag in a cabinet in the kitchen where I can't get a hold of it.

So my current tactic is this: jumping up onto the kitchen counter every single time that I get the chance and attempt to lick the food off of any dirty dishes that might be in the sink. While not as reliable as ripping through the cat food bag, this one is pretty good. Evan and Sudha are unfortunately beginning to catch on and have been better about having the infernal spray bottle at hand to stop me.

Sudha has these delightful little plastic hair clips that she uses. They make the most satisfying noise when they are batted around the hard wood floor. I've recently started graduating to even non-plastic hair products. I ingested a rubber hair band the other day and then later regurgitated it onto the living room carpet. I may try that again in the future.

Well, It's starting to get every-so-slightly warmer outside. I need to be watchful for the return of the birds and the small woodland creatures that I can stalk from the window. Until next time!

The Frozen Northern Wastes

It has been a cold, snowy winter my furry brothers and sisters. Another 6 inches of snow dropped on us over the last couple of days, and there is now a prodigious amount of the stuff sitting on the ground. This morning the temperature was a balmy 1 degree Fahrenheit.

As I've mentioned before, this cold does not really sit well with me. I am a desert creature, originally. So I am starting to hang around my humans a lot more. They always seem happy when I use their laps as kitty-warmers, and sometimes they scratch me behind the ears in a process. And I assume I warm them up too. It's a win-win situation.

Last week I climbed into a pair of Evan's pants that was sitting on the floor and went to sleep. They were nice and warm. It was quite a shock for both of us when Evan went to put them on, however, so I may not repeat that.

I've also re-taken up the habit of lying spread-eagle on the floor and displaying my nether regions to everyone who might be interested. This always seems to get Evan and Sudha's attention.

Speaking of getting their attention: I'm still on my diet. I'm not sure why my silly humans haven't started feeding me a little more again, I've clearly lost weight! Sudha's friend Katie even told me I'd lost weight. Since Evan and Sudha don't seem to be getting the picture, I've started a campaign of complaining, swiping and pouncing that has no rival. It really is quite effective. Starting at about 6 am, I'll slink into their bedroom and swipe at anything that's exposed. They've gotten pretty good at hiding their hands and feet from me, so I've been working on my pouncing moves. I launch myself into the air and land heavily on top of anything that moves under the blanket. Now I'm not the bigget cat in the world, but let me tell you, when 10 pounds of feline lands on your leg or stomach in the middle of the night, it is definitely noticeable.

Yesterday Evan brought a big box home from work, made of real cardboard! It had lots of this strange stuff called "styrofoam" in it, and some other less important stuff. This styrofoam stuff is amazing! I spent a good half hour chewing on it. I came downstairs quite satisfied and with styrofoam crumbs all over my face.

I'm hoping that the weather will warm up soon so that the small woodland creatures that I like to stalk will come back. But until then, stay warm!

Turkey Fat and Ashes

I had a religious experience this weekend, my furry brothers and sisters. Evan cooked a couple of turkey burgers on his George Foreman grill. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this type of grill, it has a little plastic receptacle for the fat and/or juices to drip down. Evan very kindly left this receptacle out for me on the counter while he was eating his burgers. So naturally, I leaped up onto the counter and licked the whole this dry. It was so incredibly delicious and filling that I didn't have to eat until much later that day.

On the subject of eating, Evan dropped some egg on the floor on Saturday morning as he was making breakfast. Now, they usually give me a raw egg yolk every once in a while. But this was different. It was "cooked," whatever that means. I sniffed at it but was not interested in it at all. Evan seemed incredulous. I tried telling him it wasn't a big deal, it's ok for me to not like egg cooked in butter, even though I'm a cat. I think he's still confused about that.

When I was a kitten, I used to climb up the backs of chairs and perch precariously on them. I've always loved climbing, and chair backs provide a great vantage point over the other, lesser, beings in the household. I stopped doing that for a while, I'm not really sure why. But recently I've started the practice again. I try to climb up there as stealthily as possible, and then swipe at the backs of Evan and Sudha's heads as they are on their computers.You can see an example of this here on the left. As you can see, my human's office chairs have nice, soft backs, and are very comfortable to perch on.

I've been observing how my humans sleep lately. They tend to lie on the bed under the blanket. I, personally, have a nice thick fur coat, so I haven't needed to lie under anything to keep warm. However, I decided to try it last Sunday. I crawled under a corner of the covers on Evan and Sudha's bed and fell asleep there. I have to see it was indeed a pleasant experience. What was even more pleasing about it is that both of them freaked out when they couldn't find me! Evan accidentally almost sat on me, giving up my position, however.

Speaking of warmth. Evan and Sudha have been setting fires in this thing called the "fireplace" lately. I find this fireplace oddly fascinating. I sit there and stare at Evan while he's cleaning it out, and while he's setting it up. In fact, the other day, I went so far as to climb into the fireplace itself while he was cleaning it out. Unfortunately for my dignity, the humans tackled me and wipe off all my paws to prevent "sooty" footprints. The nerve of those lesser creatures sometimes.

It was an exciting couple of weeks, my friends, so until next time!

She Who Must Not be Named

I have narrowly survived a harrowing weekend, my furry brothers and sisters. There were four strangers staying in my house, making lots of noise, and deliberately intimidating me. But I am getting ahead of myself. I realize I haven't posted for nearly a month, so I will take this moment to say that it has been a month filled with excitement, intrigue, love, abandonment, betrayal, sleep, and most importantly, scratches behind the ears.

Sudha and Evan left me alone for a whole week starting on the 17th of December. They had my neighbor come in and feed me twice a day. He seemed like a nice enough man. But as all people, he is expected to earn my trust and respect. I will give him credit, he gave me wet food twice during that week, that is certainly a point in his favor. It was a cold week. Evan insists on setting the heat down low while they are out. He generally mutters something about my "built in fur coat" as if that were sufficient excuse to put the thermostat below 70 degrees. Cats are desert creatures, in case you didn't know, and we like the warmth!

Anyway, after about a week of all this, I finally let the neighbor start petting me. I suppose he was pretty good at it. Maybe I'll start letting him pet me a little earlier next time.

Evan and Sudha returned on the 26th, and I pretended to be extremely happy to see them. I was very cuddly for a couple of days. That was until SHE arrived.

I will only utter this person's name once because just saying it gives me nightmares. Jane (Yane, for those of you who are Spaniards) is Evan's sister. She showed up last Tuesday and had the nerve to not only try to pet me, but pick me up! She tackled me! I tried to remain calm, I politely explained to her that she had not yet earned my trust and therefore did not yet have the right to touch my divine person with her common hands. However, she only seemed to understand everything I said as "meeeeeeeeeow and *hiss*"


To make matters worse. The day after "she who must not be named" arrive, three more people arrived. Fernando I already tolerate, but Rachel and Kate I had not seen in a long time. My precious, calm house had been invaded! As if their mere presence wasn't enough, Rachel deliberately stepped on my paw as she walked by!

Little did she know that I left an especially large portion of cat hair on her pillow the next day.

This invasion culminated on Friday night, when a whole swarm of humans entered my home for a new year's party. There were just too many people. I stayed downstairs as long as I could, but then had to retire upstairs and hide under and bed. I periodically came down to check on everyone and to grab a cub of home made eggnog. At one point Evan and Sudha's friend Tara lay down on her stomach under the dining table attempting to pet me. She had obviously had some eggnog of her own, the alcohol content of which was enough to cause me to start inadvertently shedding.

Finally the horde of people left on Saturday morning, leaving me with just the six. "She who must not be named" flew out early on Saturday afternoon. That evening the remaining five people had some cheese fondue and lit a nice wood fire in the fireplace. And finally, Fernando, Rachel and Kate departed early on Sunday afternoon.

I will say this now, but I was never Happier to snuggle up in Evan's lap than after all my house guests had departed. I think I may show some more appreciation for Evan and Sudha now that I know how many crazy friends and family they have.

Until next time my furry brothers and sisters!