Hunger! Evil Red Dots!

Horror! Terror and destruction! My inept humans forgot to feed me yesterday morning! My glorious, fascinating and informative life flashed before my eyes! I've never known such excruciating discomfort!

I raged and raged for about five minutes, then I promptly forgot all about it. Instead, I found some socks that Sudha had just bought, with the packaging still on, I might add, and dragged them downstairs.

Then, naturally, I slept most of the day.

They realized their mistake when they got home, so I got a nice big helping of kibble for dinner, and an egg yolk!

Sudha made cupcakes last night while Evan was out, and then left them out on the counter to cool when she, in turn, went out. I got several good whiffs in as I stood up on the forbidden counter. They smelled quite delicious, but as I'm watching my fuzzy frame, I, thankfully, did not eat any of them.

Evan spent most of the evening on his computer, ignoring me, so I went upstairs and put cat hair on his pillow. I really wouldn't want him to miss out.

I have to confide in you all, I hope you don't think I'm crazy for mentioning this. Lately a mysterious red dot has been appearing and moving about the room, taunting and insulting me! And though I am loathe to admit it, this infernal dot is faster than me! I scream at it, dash at it, pounce on it, and it always stays one step ahead of me.

The red dot is beginning to rival my arch-nemesis, the dreaded plastic hair clip, in determination. I keep fighting these intruders, and yet they keep coming back.

Evan and Sudha have gone to work again for now. I will sleep on this new development, perhaps all day, to see if inspiration strikes

Favoritism and Shattered Vision

My fuzzy reign of terror continues, my be-clawed brothers and sisters! This last weekend was very successful on the scale of both cuteness and destruction.

I finally made it through the shoe laces on Sudha's boots. It took me a few months, but I got them! Sudha played "pounce" with me again on Friday. I don't think she realizes that I have both very sharp teeth and retractable claws.

Saturday morning was great, the sun was shining outside, I sat on the windowsill for a while in the early morning watching the unsuspecting woodland creatures go about their pointless lives. They know that if I really wanted to I could get through the glass and bite their little heads off!

I jumped up onto the bedside table today, thinking I'd try something new. It was quite rewarding: I ended up knocking Sudha's glasses off, followed shortly by a book which landed right on top of them! She seemed pretty mad. One of the ear pieces broke off. I mean seriously, is that really such a big deal. Where was breakfast, after all? After this incident she began referring to me as "Evan's Cat."

To get revenge, I specifically sat on Evan's lap on Sunday evening while watching TV. He tried to put me on her lap, but I got up and went back to Evan's. That'll show her!

Well, they've finally gone to work again, I'm free to continue my household projects. My next one is taking the rubber lining at the bottom of the door and ripping it off completely. It's most of the way done, but it's hard getting it to go the rest of the way.

Loneliness, Toilet Paper and Underwear

This last weekend, Evan and Sudha left me alone for 3 whole days! 3 days!! Left with nothing but an unceremoniously dumped mound of food in my bowl.

The experience was hell, I can't believe a human would do that to me! All I had to do was sleep and use the litter pan! There were no ankles to maul, no servants to do my bidding and scratch me behind the ears.

There were, however, rolls of toilet paper to be unraveled and counters to climb on. Evan and Sudha long since stopped putting toilet paper in the holder downstairs, deliberately stealing my fun. But not to worry, there was one upstairs. I took the liberty of unrolling it for them and spreading it around the floor of the bathroom.

I spent a lot of quality time on the counter, next to the dishes in the tray that Evan washed just before he left. I wouldn't want them to be bereft of beautiful cat hair!

Evan came back on Monday night. I made my displeasure known by meowing a lot, dashing around, and helping him unpack. I tried to open his suitcase for him using my teeth and claws, he didn't seem to appreciate it. He did serve me a delicious meal of fine Whiskas food. A purr comes to the surface when I think about it.

Last night, I spent some time asleep in Evan's underwear drawer. He was putting away the laundry, and was quite taken aback that I was there. But really, he left it open, so what did he expect?

I got so used to being on the counter over the weekend, and I jumped up there again this morning, and sniffed at the dishes. I got quite a large spray of water from the bottle! Curses.

Anyway, for good measure, I swiped at Evan's hands and head as he went up and down the stairs. He's gone to work now. Let's see what else I can destroy!

Help with Packing!

Last night I helped Evan and Sudha pack for their trip to Chicago this weekend. Neither of them are very good at it. All they really do is toss clothes into the suitcases. I showed them how packing is really done. Packing is about concealing yourself in a partially empty suitcase and reaching out and clawing unsuspecting passers-by.

I sat in front of my fireplace for a while yesterday. As the fire gets warmer and warmer, I slowly "pour" away from it, sliding out of my cat throne and displaying my belly and private parts in all their furry glory, to the world.

My humans pay homage to me whenever I do this, I'm glad I have them well trained.

I helped some with the laundry as well. I love doing laundry, with all the warm, comfortable clothes hanging on the stair railing, I love sinking my claws into them and curling up, spreading the glory of my hair all over them.

This morning I woke up early again, and continue my campaign against Sudha's feet. They keep coming back no matter how often I attack them. I admire them for their endurance.

But I got my revenge later. I secretly perched on top of the faucet in the bathtub and crouched there behind the shower curtain.... waiting. When Sudha came in for her shower, I waited until she pulled back the curtain, and scared the daylights out of her!

I'm feeling generous today though, while Evan and Sudha are at work, I think I'll help them with the laundry some more, and keep taking down the clothes and putting cat hair on them. You can never have too much cat hair!

My Reign of Fuzzy Terror

I had a good, long, nap yesterday afternoon. It was interrupted by occasional trips to the litter pan to scritch, scritch, scritch. I did my best to launch as much litter as I could around the room.

Sudha "played" with me a little bit in the evening before bed. She likes to pretend she can out-pounce a natural born predator. I quickly showed her that my powers of stalking, and attacking are much more advanced than hers are!

They found the blasted spray bottle again! I'm just going to have to find more subtle ways to assert my authority over the other, more primitive members of this kingdom.

For example, I've found that pouncing is becoming less and less effective. I enjoy more the direct swiping kind of approach. Early this morning, instead of pouncing on the feet hidden under the blanket, I reached under the bed clothes, and swiped at the exposed skin of the leg and foot directly, claws bared! I find this is ultimately more effective and satisfying than attacking the feet and legs through the comforter.

Once Evan was awake, I tried this tactic again. I gracefully bounded up the spiral staircase and got a couple good swipes at his hands before he even knew what hit him.

I got through most of the cable connecting the Wii-Remote to the nunchuck attachment last night. It's kind of a thick cable, but my teeth are sharp, I'll get it eventually.

To further my campaign against the Wii, I did manage to climb behind the television and chew through the small cable connecting the sensor bar to the main console. I perched on my favorite place on the spiral stairs above the fireplace and watched him wonder, for 20 minutes, why his wiimotes weren't working!

Evan and Sudha are gone at work again. My project for today will be to knock as many silly hedgehog figurines from the stairwell as possible! Those infernal things taunt me every time I go by!

The Demise of the Spray Bottle

At last, my furry brothers and sisters, victory is mine! It is now four days since the dreaded spray bottle has been hidden. No one is safe any longer! I can bite, swipe, and climb onto the table and counter without fear of retribution.

This morning, I was locked in single combat with my arch enemy: the plastic hair clip. Back and forth our battle raged across the dusty landscape beneath the bed, neither of us gaining the upper hand. Then suddenly, I was thrown from the room by Sudha, who understands little of the importance of early morning struggles with inanimate household objects.

The kibble was particularly delicious this morning, and expertly scooped out by Evan, one of my hired paws. Both he and Sudha seemed a little down this morning, so I meowed at them a few times, and stuck my head into a cereal bowl on the table.

My bathroom expansion project is going well. I've nearly succeeded in covering the entire room with kitty litter. It's nice of Evan and Sudha to keep filling up the box in the corner with all the materials I need.

Well, they've left for work now. I have dragged some comfortable socks to the floor downstairs for them to use when they get back, it's quite cold!