Meat, Screens and Flame

Yesterday, my furry brothers and sisters, I spent several hours watching an amusing spectacle. Evan and Fernando spent quite some time assembling the new grill that they brought home. Let me tell you that these two humans have quite some inflated view of their own "manliness." I spent the first half of the time begging for them to let me out and help them, but to no avail. I meowed and meowed at the screen door at the top of my lungs to be let out, but they wouldn't do it. In fact, Fernando started using the other door instead.

The did finally get the thing set up. And then the most wonderful thing happened. Evan opened up this package containing raw brats and I thought I was in heaven. I've never encountered that sensational smell before. I meowed quite loudly and repeatedly, demanding that Evan give me some of it, but he refused. I really need to sit these humans down and remind them who the boss is here.

To vent my frustration, I dug my claws into the screen windows and doors over and over again. Now there are marks in the screen where my claws have done their work. In addition, I've rubbed my nose all over the big window in the living room, now it has cart markings all over it.

It has thankfully cooled down here. It has been very hot and humid, I've been shedding like crazy over everything. This is something that I do normally, but especially when it's hot. But yesterday the crazy humidity finally broke, and Evan and Sudha opened up all the windows. It was glorious to be able to plan the death of every passing bird, squirrel and rabbit.

Other than Evan's refusal to let me eat his brats, I've been appreciating my humans a lot more. I've been enjoying sitting on their laps and allowing them to scratch me behind the ears. It really is quite comfortable. The other night Evan was lying on the couch reading, he apparently was having trouble sleeping. Which is strange, I don't understand how you could have trouble sleeping. But I digress. He was reading on the couch and then turned off the light to try to fall asleep, and I climbed onto his lap and on the blanket in his lap. I think that I personally helped him fall asleep. He sleepily scratched me behind the ears and then rested his hand on my back as he dozed off.

Well, they've gone to work again for the day. I have a lot of things to do, so I must be off!

Spicy Marinade for Kitty Kabobs

As I was perusing the internet this morning on Sudha's computer, my furry brothers and sisters, a very disturbing article attracted my attention. You may read it here if you wish: Kitty Marinade. The summarized version is that a cat was found and rescued out of the trunk of some guys car. The kicker is: the cat was marinating in oils and spices, with the purpose of becoming his human's next meal!

Now, I don't have to tell you all how disturbing this is to me, as a cat. Unlike cows, sheep, pigs and chickens, we serve a purpose outside of being served in steak and kabob format. We are cute, hilariously funny, and have the uncanny ability to exert our will and desires upon the lesser species while at the same time convincing them that they love us. I am opposed to eating the flesh of animals unless I kill it myself or it is served to me by my humans. Please, don't eat cats!

Speaking of humorous human behavior: Sudha still insists on buying flowers at the farmer's market every weekend and then displaying them in a place where I can very easily access them. Occasionally she'll complain about it to Evan, but really, what does she expect? I love ripping those colorful little buds off, chewing them up and discarding them in strategic places around the house. There's something about it that I can't resist. And yet, they keep bringing them home, expecting me to cut it out one of these days.

They brought home this devilish contraption the other day. It appears to be a mouse that is attached to a string. It makes the most pathetic squeaking noise whenever it moves, so it much still be alive. As you know, cats are pretty good at chasing and killing mice, so I have been chasing this thing around for days now. I never seem to be able to catch it, but it's still alive and squeaking at me!

I mentioned a few posts back about my addiction to the nip. Well, that is still going strong, I'm somewhat ashamed to say. I have resorted to stealing the drug from Sudha's purse because I can't resist it any more. I had noticed the lovely and attractive smell of the catnip wafting from the direction of the couch. I stuck my nose into every corner, searching for the source, and at last I found it! I shoved my whole head into the purse and yanked out the delightful catnip filled, chipmunk-shaped toy. And let me tell you... this was the good stuff.

Evan and Sudha's friend, Fernando, has moved in with me on a temporary basis. He's moving to Chicago eventually but is currently residing in the scary basement that I still dislike going into. He doesn't pay that much attention to me, he claims to hate cats. But I happen to know that he belongs to an adorable little cat named Bonnie. I think maybe she is just a little too protective and has insisted that he pretend to dislike all other cats. I really don't mind him much as long as he stays in the basement. The smell doesn't quite reach all the way up from there.

As an update: Suma Setty has made it safely to India, I miss biting her already...

Until next time my furry brothers and sisters!

Farewell and Good Woodland Creature Hunting

I am writing today, my furry brothers and sisters, to wave a fond farewell to Sudha's little sister, Suma. You can see her in the picture, I was skyping with her yesterday evening.

Suma and lived and stayed in my house off and on for the past few years. I know she says she doesn't particularly like me or my sharp teeth and retractable claws, but I think she's just saying that and really does enjoy my company.

Suma is leaving to work in India and won't be back for a whole year. Sudha and Evan are quite sad about this, but also are extremely proud and happy for her that she is taking advantage of this wonderful opportunity.

I will have to find someone else's feet to pounce on for a year, so I am particularly put out.

Please give Suma your best wishes!

She will be missed. As much as humans can be missed, that is.

The Kitty with the Skull and Crossbones Collar

I'm becoming slow in my old age, my furry brothers and sisters. It's been a month since my last post, and I apologize for the lengthy delay. On July 14th, 2010, I turned 2. Yes, 2! I don't want to sound like I'm complaining about my age, but seriously, I'm practically 5!

As you may have noticed: it is summer time out there. I wouldn't really know, as I'm not allowed outside, but what this means is that it is now ultimate shedding season. This is a time where cats band together to defy the laws of physics and shed as much possible. Humans cannot comprehend how the shedding works. Their feeble minds just don't understand how our bodies are able to release so much hair and yet remain furry. I, unfortunately, will not be sharing this secret with you, as I know there are several humans who will read this, and I do not want to become a traitor to the species. Needless to say, I can shed my hair at a prodigious rate. Evan will pick me up for several seconds and all I have to do is squirm and he's got literally a solid sheet of cat hair all over the front of his shirt.

Another things that happens in the summer time is that Sudha and Evan go to the farmers market almost every weekend. Lately they've been bringing back the most delightful things: flowers. With these incredible things I am able to wreak so much more havoc than I would normally be able to. I can quite easily decapitate the flowers with my teeth, and then drop them in strategic locations for Evan to step on barefoot in the morning. I have deduced that humans do not like the feel of cold, dead, organic things under their bare feet. In addition, Sudha place a vase full of flowers on the small table in the foyer. I took the liberty of completely tipping the vase over, causing all the water to spill out all over the shoes on the floor.

Flowers, so help me, I love them!

Evan and Sudha's friends, Rachel and Fernando, are apparently leaving town. This alone doesn't matter too much to me, but they are temporarily moving in and with them come many boxes and bags and other wonderful things to play with. A few nights ago, for instance, I successfully explored Rachel's cooler. While everyone was carrying stuff into the house, I also took the opportunity to briefly escape again. It was another enlightening experience! For my boldness I was unceremoniously closed into the bathroom.

Evan just recently got some game called Starcraft II, so he really hasn't been paying much attention to me. I've been paying him back by going downstairs when he's upstairs and hiding upstairs when he is downstairs. He keeps calling for me, but to no avail.

Yesterday, though, I relented. I climbed onto his lap and gave him permission to scratch me behind the ears. I also spent quite some time on Sudha's lap as she watched a movie.

I must leave you for now, my minions, I have several windows to stare out of. I promise that my next update will come in a more timely manner.