The Silence of the Kitties

It has been a long period of silence, my furry brothers and sisters. The season is changing, it's getting colder and darker outside. Evan doesn't seem to mind the weather getting colder. Sudha really doesn't like it though. Personally, I like it. The winter is a time where I can lie on my back, spread-eagle towards the fire. Or where I can lounge about on top of the heating vents. I've heard from other cats that these heating vents are very comfortable. They haven't even been turned on around me yet, but Evan and Sudha are getting me a new furnace, so I'm excited to try them out.

Speaking of other cats: there is a neighbor of mine who has no respect for personal boundaries. A black and white cat, by the name of Tuxedo, showed up a couple of weeks ago on the front porch and stood there for over an hour, meowing to get in. Now, you would think this is normal behavior, but Tuxedo apparently doesn't understand that this is my house! He can't come over here, acting all friendly, and expect my humans to pay attention to him. Needless to say, I hissed at him quite vehemently. Sudha thought it was "funny," but she doesn't understand the seriousness of the situation.

Ever since that incident, I've been acting more friendly. I figured I would try to top this Tuxedo every way I knew how. I've been sleeping in Evan and Sudha's laps, I've even stopped hissing at visitors!

Just last week, my humans had some other humans over for dinner. The dinner consisted of some sort of delicious smelling melted-cheese dish. I was very excited to help them eat it, but they wouldn't let me! Anyway, I hung around with the whole group for most of the night. I didn't get too close, but I sat and watched them from halfway across the room.

Later on, under the influence of several bottles of wine, two of the humans attempted to bribe me to come closer. Now, I would say that this normally works, however, the two humans in question, Seth and Fernando were trying to coax me with pieces of bread. Needless to say, being a bloodthirsty, violent carnivore, I had no interest at all in this. I sat there and stared at them. I tried to tell them that the bottle of kitty treats was just over on the mantle piece, but they didn't seem to understand.

Yesterday, Sudha's friend Pooja and her family were over for breakfast, and I actually ate treats out of their hands. Not one hiss or raised hackle. I must say, I'm quite proud of my behavior.

I've taken quite an interest in the lovely Syrian tablecloth that Evan and Sudha got from Evan's parents. It's long and easy to grip with my claws! I love to dash across the living room, leap up onto the table and then let myself fall off the other side while gripping the table cloth. I recommend that you all try it.

Anyway, I must back to chewing on Sudha's plants!

The Remains of the Kitten

When I was a kitten, my furry brothers and sisters, I was very cute, very cuddly and very friendly. Back in those days I lived in a carefree world filled with laps and toys. Back then I would howl whenever Evan or Sudha went outside or left me along downstairs. I would sit on their friends' laps.

I was a very different kitty. After enduring a hard move I'm much more crotchety. I'm working on it though. Evan informs me that I have a reputation for hissing and being unfriendly.

So this weekend I made more of an effort. Evan just turned 28 years old last Friday, and on Saturday he had a bunch of people over to celebrate this! I behaved very well. I stayed downstairs and watched people. I didn't hiss at anyone at all during the party. Even some of the guests tried to pet me. Their friend Ben used kitty treats to try to win me over. Mmmmmmm.... kitty treats.

Evan was a little under the weather a day after the party so I sat on his lap a couple times to cheer him up. He scratches me very nicely behind the ears, and on the back of my neck under my skull and crossbones collar.

Sudha and Evan have this lovely purple Syrian table cloth on the dining room table. I don't know what it is about this table cloth, but it calls to me. It contrasts so beautifully with the lighter color of my fur. So naturally, I can't resist jumping onto it and spreading out all over it. I do this especially when they are not at home. I think they may be on to me though, as the thing is covered with cat hair. And I was slow and Sudha caught me sitting on the table last night.

Both of my humans were out of town a week ago, visiting Sudha's family in Chicago. Their friend Fernando, who is staying in the basement, was there, along with his girlfriend Rachel. They fed me decently well, I suppose. Although they basically ignored me. It was a little disappointing. I am a creature with very complex feelings. Just because I seem to be completely ignoring you and treating you with utter disdain and contempt, that doesn't mean that you have the right to do the same. Needless to say, I was happy when Sudha and Evan got back that Monday. I showed my appreciation by complaining for food and ignoring them.

The weather is getting colder. I feel that it will soon be time to lie on my back with my legs spread towards the fireplace. There will be fewer woodland creatures to gaze at from the window with murderous intent.

Until next time my furry brothers and sisters!

Meat, Screens and Flame

Yesterday, my furry brothers and sisters, I spent several hours watching an amusing spectacle. Evan and Fernando spent quite some time assembling the new grill that they brought home. Let me tell you that these two humans have quite some inflated view of their own "manliness." I spent the first half of the time begging for them to let me out and help them, but to no avail. I meowed and meowed at the screen door at the top of my lungs to be let out, but they wouldn't do it. In fact, Fernando started using the other door instead.

The did finally get the thing set up. And then the most wonderful thing happened. Evan opened up this package containing raw brats and I thought I was in heaven. I've never encountered that sensational smell before. I meowed quite loudly and repeatedly, demanding that Evan give me some of it, but he refused. I really need to sit these humans down and remind them who the boss is here.

To vent my frustration, I dug my claws into the screen windows and doors over and over again. Now there are marks in the screen where my claws have done their work. In addition, I've rubbed my nose all over the big window in the living room, now it has cart markings all over it.

It has thankfully cooled down here. It has been very hot and humid, I've been shedding like crazy over everything. This is something that I do normally, but especially when it's hot. But yesterday the crazy humidity finally broke, and Evan and Sudha opened up all the windows. It was glorious to be able to plan the death of every passing bird, squirrel and rabbit.

Other than Evan's refusal to let me eat his brats, I've been appreciating my humans a lot more. I've been enjoying sitting on their laps and allowing them to scratch me behind the ears. It really is quite comfortable. The other night Evan was lying on the couch reading, he apparently was having trouble sleeping. Which is strange, I don't understand how you could have trouble sleeping. But I digress. He was reading on the couch and then turned off the light to try to fall asleep, and I climbed onto his lap and on the blanket in his lap. I think that I personally helped him fall asleep. He sleepily scratched me behind the ears and then rested his hand on my back as he dozed off.

Well, they've gone to work again for the day. I have a lot of things to do, so I must be off!

Spicy Marinade for Kitty Kabobs

As I was perusing the internet this morning on Sudha's computer, my furry brothers and sisters, a very disturbing article attracted my attention. You may read it here if you wish: Kitty Marinade. The summarized version is that a cat was found and rescued out of the trunk of some guys car. The kicker is: the cat was marinating in oils and spices, with the purpose of becoming his human's next meal!

Now, I don't have to tell you all how disturbing this is to me, as a cat. Unlike cows, sheep, pigs and chickens, we serve a purpose outside of being served in steak and kabob format. We are cute, hilariously funny, and have the uncanny ability to exert our will and desires upon the lesser species while at the same time convincing them that they love us. I am opposed to eating the flesh of animals unless I kill it myself or it is served to me by my humans. Please, don't eat cats!

Speaking of humorous human behavior: Sudha still insists on buying flowers at the farmer's market every weekend and then displaying them in a place where I can very easily access them. Occasionally she'll complain about it to Evan, but really, what does she expect? I love ripping those colorful little buds off, chewing them up and discarding them in strategic places around the house. There's something about it that I can't resist. And yet, they keep bringing them home, expecting me to cut it out one of these days.

They brought home this devilish contraption the other day. It appears to be a mouse that is attached to a string. It makes the most pathetic squeaking noise whenever it moves, so it much still be alive. As you know, cats are pretty good at chasing and killing mice, so I have been chasing this thing around for days now. I never seem to be able to catch it, but it's still alive and squeaking at me!

I mentioned a few posts back about my addiction to the nip. Well, that is still going strong, I'm somewhat ashamed to say. I have resorted to stealing the drug from Sudha's purse because I can't resist it any more. I had noticed the lovely and attractive smell of the catnip wafting from the direction of the couch. I stuck my nose into every corner, searching for the source, and at last I found it! I shoved my whole head into the purse and yanked out the delightful catnip filled, chipmunk-shaped toy. And let me tell you... this was the good stuff.

Evan and Sudha's friend, Fernando, has moved in with me on a temporary basis. He's moving to Chicago eventually but is currently residing in the scary basement that I still dislike going into. He doesn't pay that much attention to me, he claims to hate cats. But I happen to know that he belongs to an adorable little cat named Bonnie. I think maybe she is just a little too protective and has insisted that he pretend to dislike all other cats. I really don't mind him much as long as he stays in the basement. The smell doesn't quite reach all the way up from there.

As an update: Suma Setty has made it safely to India, I miss biting her already...

Until next time my furry brothers and sisters!

Farewell and Good Woodland Creature Hunting

I am writing today, my furry brothers and sisters, to wave a fond farewell to Sudha's little sister, Suma. You can see her in the picture, I was skyping with her yesterday evening.

Suma and lived and stayed in my house off and on for the past few years. I know she says she doesn't particularly like me or my sharp teeth and retractable claws, but I think she's just saying that and really does enjoy my company.

Suma is leaving to work in India and won't be back for a whole year. Sudha and Evan are quite sad about this, but also are extremely proud and happy for her that she is taking advantage of this wonderful opportunity.

I will have to find someone else's feet to pounce on for a year, so I am particularly put out.

Please give Suma your best wishes!

She will be missed. As much as humans can be missed, that is.

The Kitty with the Skull and Crossbones Collar

I'm becoming slow in my old age, my furry brothers and sisters. It's been a month since my last post, and I apologize for the lengthy delay. On July 14th, 2010, I turned 2. Yes, 2! I don't want to sound like I'm complaining about my age, but seriously, I'm practically 5!

As you may have noticed: it is summer time out there. I wouldn't really know, as I'm not allowed outside, but what this means is that it is now ultimate shedding season. This is a time where cats band together to defy the laws of physics and shed as much possible. Humans cannot comprehend how the shedding works. Their feeble minds just don't understand how our bodies are able to release so much hair and yet remain furry. I, unfortunately, will not be sharing this secret with you, as I know there are several humans who will read this, and I do not want to become a traitor to the species. Needless to say, I can shed my hair at a prodigious rate. Evan will pick me up for several seconds and all I have to do is squirm and he's got literally a solid sheet of cat hair all over the front of his shirt.

Another things that happens in the summer time is that Sudha and Evan go to the farmers market almost every weekend. Lately they've been bringing back the most delightful things: flowers. With these incredible things I am able to wreak so much more havoc than I would normally be able to. I can quite easily decapitate the flowers with my teeth, and then drop them in strategic locations for Evan to step on barefoot in the morning. I have deduced that humans do not like the feel of cold, dead, organic things under their bare feet. In addition, Sudha place a vase full of flowers on the small table in the foyer. I took the liberty of completely tipping the vase over, causing all the water to spill out all over the shoes on the floor.

Flowers, so help me, I love them!

Evan and Sudha's friends, Rachel and Fernando, are apparently leaving town. This alone doesn't matter too much to me, but they are temporarily moving in and with them come many boxes and bags and other wonderful things to play with. A few nights ago, for instance, I successfully explored Rachel's cooler. While everyone was carrying stuff into the house, I also took the opportunity to briefly escape again. It was another enlightening experience! For my boldness I was unceremoniously closed into the bathroom.

Evan just recently got some game called Starcraft II, so he really hasn't been paying much attention to me. I've been paying him back by going downstairs when he's upstairs and hiding upstairs when he is downstairs. He keeps calling for me, but to no avail.

Yesterday, though, I relented. I climbed onto his lap and gave him permission to scratch me behind the ears. I also spent quite some time on Sudha's lap as she watched a movie.

I must leave you for now, my minions, I have several windows to stare out of. I promise that my next update will come in a more timely manner.

Of Tables and Spray Bottles

There is a lovely table in my new house, my furry brothers and sisters. It's quite large and heavy, and the top is made out of glass. From hearing Sudha and Evan talk about it, it took quite a few people to help get it inside during the move.

I have to say that the best thing about this table, without a doubt, is that it gives me the perfect vantage point to both see out the window towards the park and into the back yard at the same time. I'm not really sure what their problem is, but Evan and Sudha don't seem to appreciate my being able to see out of both sides of the house at the same time. They yell and screech and use the dreaded spray bottle whenever they see me there. Mine, however, is the last word. They have to go to work all day while I can just laze about on the table for hours at a time. Just to rub it in their faces, I have been leaving quite a large collection of light cat hair on the dark blue Syrian table cloth!

I'm going to confide in you now, my furry brothers and sisters. I have an addiction. I'm secretly back on the catnip. My humans brought home several toy mice filled with the stuff, and let me tell you, I can't resist it. I know this addiction is bad, but I can't help but sniffing it, tossing the toys around like a madkitty and getting the smell over my entire body. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....

Anyway, I've tried to escape to the outdoors again several times over the past couple of weeks. It's been difficult as Evan and Sudha seem to be more vigilant than usual. In addition, they've left me alone for days at a time two weekends in a row! This is not only preventing me from escaping, but it is also depriving me of my humans to ignore. How am I supposed to lord over them and pretend they don't exist when they're not around?

In order to prevent them from leaving like this again, I've been acting more cuddly. The other day Sudha was using her computer, and I curled up on the chair behind her, only taking up about two thirds of the space. How very fortunate of her to have me bless her with my presence. I've even started swiping at Evan's feet under the blankets early in the morning again, a habit that I have sorely missed.

Well, my humans have gone to work again for the day. Time for me to get back up on the dining room table.