Of Tables and Spray Bottles

There is a lovely table in my new house, my furry brothers and sisters. It's quite large and heavy, and the top is made out of glass. From hearing Sudha and Evan talk about it, it took quite a few people to help get it inside during the move.

I have to say that the best thing about this table, without a doubt, is that it gives me the perfect vantage point to both see out the window towards the park and into the back yard at the same time. I'm not really sure what their problem is, but Evan and Sudha don't seem to appreciate my being able to see out of both sides of the house at the same time. They yell and screech and use the dreaded spray bottle whenever they see me there. Mine, however, is the last word. They have to go to work all day while I can just laze about on the table for hours at a time. Just to rub it in their faces, I have been leaving quite a large collection of light cat hair on the dark blue Syrian table cloth!

I'm going to confide in you now, my furry brothers and sisters. I have an addiction. I'm secretly back on the catnip. My humans brought home several toy mice filled with the stuff, and let me tell you, I can't resist it. I know this addiction is bad, but I can't help but sniffing it, tossing the toys around like a madkitty and getting the smell over my entire body. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....

Anyway, I've tried to escape to the outdoors again several times over the past couple of weeks. It's been difficult as Evan and Sudha seem to be more vigilant than usual. In addition, they've left me alone for days at a time two weekends in a row! This is not only preventing me from escaping, but it is also depriving me of my humans to ignore. How am I supposed to lord over them and pretend they don't exist when they're not around?

In order to prevent them from leaving like this again, I've been acting more cuddly. The other day Sudha was using her computer, and I curled up on the chair behind her, only taking up about two thirds of the space. How very fortunate of her to have me bless her with my presence. I've even started swiping at Evan's feet under the blankets early in the morning again, a habit that I have sorely missed.

Well, my humans have gone to work again for the day. Time for me to get back up on the dining room table.

Lighting, Thunder, and Wet Food

I have made an important new discovery, my furry brothers and sisters: the outside! Sudha and Evan's friend Kate was staying in the house for reunion last week and she very kindly let me go outside on two occasions. It was really very nice of her. I must remember to send her a thank you note.

Honestly, the outdoors is not all it's cracked up to be. The first night, I bolted out the door and then became so petrified with fear that I stayed on the front porch all night. Evan very kindly let me in again in the morning.

The second incident involved both Sudha and Kate. I bolted out of the house again, and then had about 45 minutes of outdoor adventure before Evan let me in the back door.

They haven't let me out again, which is quite disappointing. I've complained about it to them a lot but they don't seem to understand. I'd love to try to go out again now that I know what to expect.

Anyway, the indoors has been quite fun as well. I was dragged to what is known as the "vet" the other day, it was quite a harrowing experience. Evan got the cat carrier out, which never ceases to amaze me. He set it out on the couch, and I sniffed at it for a good 20 minutes, even knocking it off. When he opened the door, I jumped right in! After a terrifying car ride we got to the vet. I took the liberty of growling and hissing at all the various people that came into the examination room. It turns out I have a reputation for it. One of the women who came in had thick working gloves, a thick apron and held a towel in her hand, ready to tackle me. It was quite undignified.

I have become more cuddly over the last few days. I've come to appreciate being scratched and rubbed when I sit in Evan or Sudha's lap, so I've been doing that more. Last night I spent part of the night underneath the bed covers sleeping on Sudha's feet. It was quite comfortable. I was curled there partly for the warmth and partly to hide from the extremely loud thunderstorm that was taking place outside the window. It was very loud, I was a little intimidated by it.

I also found where they keep the delicious wet food! I found the box, and pulled on of the packets out and mangled it with my teeth and claws last night. It was very delectable. Although Sudha seemed a little angry in the morning.

Well, they've gone off to work again, I'm free to inflict destruction upon the house. Until next time!

Hugs and Hisses

It has been a long period of silence, my furry brothers and sisters. It has been a long, adventurous fortnight. I've grown more and more comfortable and accustomed to this new place I've been living in. There is a cold, dark area through a door and down some stairs that is still quite scary, I've explored there, but don't dare stay very long.

I'd like to take this moment to respond to an infuriating comment left my Rosie the dog on my previous entry. We all know how you did Mitz in in the end, Rosie. You are very famous, among cats. Consider yourself warned that I will not run and hide from you like Mitz did, may she rest in peace. I will stand my ground, arch my back, puff up my tail and hiss before I run away. Do not take this as an empty threat. I been known to do this before.

I don't usually hiss at people, I am usually very outgoing and friendly. However, there were a lot of people at my house last weekend for a "party." Now, some cats would take this as an indication that they should hide and be reclusive, but not me! I will always stand my ground. Evan's co-worker, Monica, gently held out her hand for me to sniff at, and do you know what I did? I hissed at her! This was after I approached her of my own volition. I also hissed at Evan's friend Brian, who had the nerve to pet me when I came within reach.

Consider yourself warned, Rosie the Junkyard Dog from Istanbul, I will not tolerate any of your manginess. I am master here. Let it henceforth be known that I, Her Furry Majesty, Harriet the Minnesotan Barn Cat, that where you and your ilk are concerned, I hold absolute power.

The windows in this new place are fantastic. I have no fewer than 5 window areas where I can perch and prowl and watch the passers by. This "screen" substance on the doors feels quite good on my claws as well. I didn't see many birds go by in the old place, but now, I can see them very clearly. I send them a silent warning; a meow in which my mouth moves but no sound comes out. I do this repeatedly so that they are aware of the danger they are in. Evan and Sudha call it the "invisible meow" but they are unaware of its true, terrifying purpose.

It has been an exciting few weeks. Many creatures to invisible meow at, many people to confuse with my friendly/hissing behavior. Until next time, my furry brothers and sister.

There Is a World Filled with Innocent Creatures to Hunt and Kill

I'm growing to like the new house I live in, my furry brothers and sisters. There are many, many places for me to explore, and there are a lot more windows than before. I have noticed that I'm spending hours upon hours sitting on the back of the couch and staring out the window.

There is a big park right across the way from my new windows, and it is full of things that I would love to catch, maim and kill if I had the chance. I've discovered a new thing called "birds." These things, get this, can actually fly! They zoom past the window and I can't help but dash back and forth meowing profusely.

Evan and Sudha have a new couch that is quite comfortable to sleep on. It's relatively free of cat hair as well, something that I'm going to have to fix in a timely manner. Once I'm exhausted at the window I'll flop down on the couch and sleep for a few hours.

My bathroom contains one of the strangest and most terrifying things. It's a big white box with a round opening on the front. Occasionally Evan or Sudha will come in and fill it with their clothes. I can watch this thing for a long time, but I never get too close, who knows what it could do? It makes these ominous noises and the clothes spin around inside of it.

While I'm on the subject of my bathroom, I have a new litter pan! It's enormous! I try to spray my litter out all over the room, but the walls are too high, I can't get the litter over them.

All in all, I like the new house! It's bright and there are plenty of windows to look out of.

All The Light!!!

My life is over, I've died and gone to hell. A hell filled with bright light and boxes. I must be on my 2nd life now, or is it my third? Nothing makes sense any more!

Four days ago I was unceremoniously snatched up and forced, against my will into the small downstairs bathroom. I escaped with my life, but just barely, only to find that the world was turned upside down. People were all over the place carrying things out of my domain. I tried to run, but Evan caught me and threw me into the upstairs bathroom, which I am sad to say, has a door that latches fully...

Sudha came in a little while later and tossed me into the infernal cat carrier, and then dragged me, clawing and meowing, into the light. I have never been so afraid for my cat self before. They took me in the scary car thing and then locked me in a another room. The noise from outside was deafening, I could here such large things moving back and forth from the other side of the door.

Eventually the noise stopped, and the door opened... and Evan was there. He stepped out of the way and let me through the door. The world that lay through that door was enormous and frightening. I have never seen anything so large and so light.

Since that day I have been carefully exploring every inch of this new place, jumping at every little noise. I dash from cover to cover. The bed I used to hide under is still here, and there's the big green couch I can climb into.

I will update you all again soon with my progress in dealing with this strange place. I need to hide under the bed again for a while!

A Whole New World!

My world is changing. The domain I am so familiar with is slowly transforming into a forest of boxes and suitcases. There are so many wonderful things to climb into and chew on. I have discovered this magnificent material called styrofoam. It was very chewy and extremely fun to bat around.

I've been getting more meals in the form of "wet food." The term "wet food" doesn't begin to do this substance justice. What it really is is a fantastically delicious blend of pungent juices, containing savory hunks of strong smelling meat. It is truly a sensory delight. In fact, it is so good that I can't prevent myself from singing a song every time Sudha or Evan gets one of the packets down from the shelf. 

I have made a nest for myself with Evan's dirty clothes. There is generally a moderate pile of clothes lying on the floor around the laundry hamper upstairs. They are extremely comfortable to curl up on. And they provide an excellent view of the outdoors. I fully support Evan in his practice of putting clothes on the floor rather than in the hamper.

Over the past few days I've been feeling very affectionate. I've been climbing into Evan's lap a lot more, and curling up in the office chair near the computers. I've found out that lying in these strategic places leads to more scratching and rubbing that lying in other places. It's getting to be shedding season, so this also lets me deposit the maximum amount of hair as well.

Despite all these fun activities, my furry brothers and sisters, I can't shake the feeling that something is going on. Evan and Sudha keep muttering cryptic things like "Where will we put your cat's litter pan?" and "I hope she likes the new place." I'm not sure what this new place they are referring to is, but I don't like the sound of it.

I am now alone again. I will spend a lot of quality time staring out the window today. 

The Great Outdoors

It has been a long time, my furry brothers and sisters, since I graced you with a post. It has been a very busy couple of weeks. I had the whole place to myself while Evan and Sudha were in Hawaii. It was a long and lonely time. Emily from upstairs came in a couple times a day to entertain me. She was pretty good at it. She never stayed long enough to completely do my bidding all day, what was a little disappointing.

By the end of the 10 day trip I was getting a little restless. I had no feet to pounce on, no hands to swipe at and bite. I did get some random visitors every now and then. They came in looking around at the apartment. I'm not sure what they were looking for, but I certainly did my best to be underfoot.

Sudha and Evan got home on Monday afternoon. I allowed them to spend quite a bit of quality time petting me. I graced Sudha's lap with my presence for about an hour, then I graced Evan's lap. Then Evan did the most ridiculous thing!

He took a plastic container that was sitting on the counter.... and moved it over to the table! I mean, how could he possibly have the nerve to do such a horrible thing to me? I really don't understand what got into his head at that particular moment. Needless to say, I puffed up my tail, flattened my ears back and clearly demonstrated my displeasure with his action.

I've also found that suitcases are very delicious. I've spent quite a bit of time over the last couple of days chewing on them, sleeping on them, climbing into them. The clothes in them have had a whole 10 days to lose any and all cat hair on them, and I needed to replenish their supplies.

Yesterday, I made it to the outside very briefly. Evan was on the phone, out on the balcony, and Sudha opened the door to go see him, and I sneakily darted out! She caught me and tossed me back in. I got out again when Evan opened the door to look for his keys. I made it to the middle of the balcony that time. But then for some inexplicable reason, I was utterly terrified and became disoriented. Then I was grabbed from behind and thrown back inside again.

Anyway, they've gone off to work again. It's time for my early morning post-sleep nap.