Nooks and Crannies

Sleeping is a very important part of my life, my furry brothers and sisters. I have discovered some lovely little hiding places that offer great cat naps recently. Evan and Sudha had a dinner party the other night, and they put a lovely Syrian tablecloth on the table. This provides me with excellent cover to both perch and sleep on the dining room chairs. As they and their friends were sitting down to eat, I installed myself on one of the empty chairs, and stealthily swiped at their legs!

I'm also using it as a nice dark place to nap. They also have this butcher block in the dining room that is covered by a cloth as well. I've hollowed out a place for myself inside this lying on the pile of placements.

Sleeping is truly a wonderful thing.

Eating is also a very wonderful thing, and ever since I've been forcibly put onto my latest diet I've been devising new ways to procure food. I've already told you about my swiping and pouncing tactics with regards to my sleeping humans in the morning, those still work sometimes, but they've started locking me out of the room when I do that.

Another thing I tried was to physically claw my way into the cat food bag and gorge myself overnight. This was truly wonderful, but too obvious. They hid the bag in a cabinet in the kitchen where I can't get a hold of it.

So my current tactic is this: jumping up onto the kitchen counter every single time that I get the chance and attempt to lick the food off of any dirty dishes that might be in the sink. While not as reliable as ripping through the cat food bag, this one is pretty good. Evan and Sudha are unfortunately beginning to catch on and have been better about having the infernal spray bottle at hand to stop me.

Sudha has these delightful little plastic hair clips that she uses. They make the most satisfying noise when they are batted around the hard wood floor. I've recently started graduating to even non-plastic hair products. I ingested a rubber hair band the other day and then later regurgitated it onto the living room carpet. I may try that again in the future.

Well, It's starting to get every-so-slightly warmer outside. I need to be watchful for the return of the birds and the small woodland creatures that I can stalk from the window. Until next time!

The Frozen Northern Wastes

It has been a cold, snowy winter my furry brothers and sisters. Another 6 inches of snow dropped on us over the last couple of days, and there is now a prodigious amount of the stuff sitting on the ground. This morning the temperature was a balmy 1 degree Fahrenheit.

As I've mentioned before, this cold does not really sit well with me. I am a desert creature, originally. So I am starting to hang around my humans a lot more. They always seem happy when I use their laps as kitty-warmers, and sometimes they scratch me behind the ears in a process. And I assume I warm them up too. It's a win-win situation.

Last week I climbed into a pair of Evan's pants that was sitting on the floor and went to sleep. They were nice and warm. It was quite a shock for both of us when Evan went to put them on, however, so I may not repeat that.

I've also re-taken up the habit of lying spread-eagle on the floor and displaying my nether regions to everyone who might be interested. This always seems to get Evan and Sudha's attention.

Speaking of getting their attention: I'm still on my diet. I'm not sure why my silly humans haven't started feeding me a little more again, I've clearly lost weight! Sudha's friend Katie even told me I'd lost weight. Since Evan and Sudha don't seem to be getting the picture, I've started a campaign of complaining, swiping and pouncing that has no rival. It really is quite effective. Starting at about 6 am, I'll slink into their bedroom and swipe at anything that's exposed. They've gotten pretty good at hiding their hands and feet from me, so I've been working on my pouncing moves. I launch myself into the air and land heavily on top of anything that moves under the blanket. Now I'm not the bigget cat in the world, but let me tell you, when 10 pounds of feline lands on your leg or stomach in the middle of the night, it is definitely noticeable.

Yesterday Evan brought a big box home from work, made of real cardboard! It had lots of this strange stuff called "styrofoam" in it, and some other less important stuff. This styrofoam stuff is amazing! I spent a good half hour chewing on it. I came downstairs quite satisfied and with styrofoam crumbs all over my face.

I'm hoping that the weather will warm up soon so that the small woodland creatures that I like to stalk will come back. But until then, stay warm!

Turkey Fat and Ashes

I had a religious experience this weekend, my furry brothers and sisters. Evan cooked a couple of turkey burgers on his George Foreman grill. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this type of grill, it has a little plastic receptacle for the fat and/or juices to drip down. Evan very kindly left this receptacle out for me on the counter while he was eating his burgers. So naturally, I leaped up onto the counter and licked the whole this dry. It was so incredibly delicious and filling that I didn't have to eat until much later that day.

On the subject of eating, Evan dropped some egg on the floor on Saturday morning as he was making breakfast. Now, they usually give me a raw egg yolk every once in a while. But this was different. It was "cooked," whatever that means. I sniffed at it but was not interested in it at all. Evan seemed incredulous. I tried telling him it wasn't a big deal, it's ok for me to not like egg cooked in butter, even though I'm a cat. I think he's still confused about that.

When I was a kitten, I used to climb up the backs of chairs and perch precariously on them. I've always loved climbing, and chair backs provide a great vantage point over the other, lesser, beings in the household. I stopped doing that for a while, I'm not really sure why. But recently I've started the practice again. I try to climb up there as stealthily as possible, and then swipe at the backs of Evan and Sudha's heads as they are on their computers.You can see an example of this here on the left. As you can see, my human's office chairs have nice, soft backs, and are very comfortable to perch on.

I've been observing how my humans sleep lately. They tend to lie on the bed under the blanket. I, personally, have a nice thick fur coat, so I haven't needed to lie under anything to keep warm. However, I decided to try it last Sunday. I crawled under a corner of the covers on Evan and Sudha's bed and fell asleep there. I have to see it was indeed a pleasant experience. What was even more pleasing about it is that both of them freaked out when they couldn't find me! Evan accidentally almost sat on me, giving up my position, however.

Speaking of warmth. Evan and Sudha have been setting fires in this thing called the "fireplace" lately. I find this fireplace oddly fascinating. I sit there and stare at Evan while he's cleaning it out, and while he's setting it up. In fact, the other day, I went so far as to climb into the fireplace itself while he was cleaning it out. Unfortunately for my dignity, the humans tackled me and wipe off all my paws to prevent "sooty" footprints. The nerve of those lesser creatures sometimes.

It was an exciting couple of weeks, my friends, so until next time!

She Who Must Not be Named

I have narrowly survived a harrowing weekend, my furry brothers and sisters. There were four strangers staying in my house, making lots of noise, and deliberately intimidating me. But I am getting ahead of myself. I realize I haven't posted for nearly a month, so I will take this moment to say that it has been a month filled with excitement, intrigue, love, abandonment, betrayal, sleep, and most importantly, scratches behind the ears.

Sudha and Evan left me alone for a whole week starting on the 17th of December. They had my neighbor come in and feed me twice a day. He seemed like a nice enough man. But as all people, he is expected to earn my trust and respect. I will give him credit, he gave me wet food twice during that week, that is certainly a point in his favor. It was a cold week. Evan insists on setting the heat down low while they are out. He generally mutters something about my "built in fur coat" as if that were sufficient excuse to put the thermostat below 70 degrees. Cats are desert creatures, in case you didn't know, and we like the warmth!

Anyway, after about a week of all this, I finally let the neighbor start petting me. I suppose he was pretty good at it. Maybe I'll start letting him pet me a little earlier next time.

Evan and Sudha returned on the 26th, and I pretended to be extremely happy to see them. I was very cuddly for a couple of days. That was until SHE arrived.

I will only utter this person's name once because just saying it gives me nightmares. Jane (Yane, for those of you who are Spaniards) is Evan's sister. She showed up last Tuesday and had the nerve to not only try to pet me, but pick me up! She tackled me! I tried to remain calm, I politely explained to her that she had not yet earned my trust and therefore did not yet have the right to touch my divine person with her common hands. However, she only seemed to understand everything I said as "meeeeeeeeeow and *hiss*"


To make matters worse. The day after "she who must not be named" arrive, three more people arrived. Fernando I already tolerate, but Rachel and Kate I had not seen in a long time. My precious, calm house had been invaded! As if their mere presence wasn't enough, Rachel deliberately stepped on my paw as she walked by!

Little did she know that I left an especially large portion of cat hair on her pillow the next day.

This invasion culminated on Friday night, when a whole swarm of humans entered my home for a new year's party. There were just too many people. I stayed downstairs as long as I could, but then had to retire upstairs and hide under and bed. I periodically came down to check on everyone and to grab a cub of home made eggnog. At one point Evan and Sudha's friend Tara lay down on her stomach under the dining table attempting to pet me. She had obviously had some eggnog of her own, the alcohol content of which was enough to cause me to start inadvertently shedding.

Finally the horde of people left on Saturday morning, leaving me with just the six. "She who must not be named" flew out early on Saturday afternoon. That evening the remaining five people had some cheese fondue and lit a nice wood fire in the fireplace. And finally, Fernando, Rachel and Kate departed early on Sunday afternoon.

I will say this now, but I was never Happier to snuggle up in Evan's lap than after all my house guests had departed. I think I may show some more appreciation for Evan and Sudha now that I know how many crazy friends and family they have.

Until next time my furry brothers and sisters!

The Birds!

They're sticking around just to spite me, my furry brothers and sisters. The darn birds haven't gotten the notice that it's winter now. This stuff called snow is falling.

Four days ago, I overheard my humans speaking of a "winter storm warning." I'm not really sure what they meant by it. But on Friday afternoon this very strange substance known as snow began falling outside. It was quite mesmerizing. I spent hours watching this tiny little white flakes falling and blowing around.

What snow helps me to do is to spot the creatures that are still active in the winter time. There are rabbits and squirrels, and much to my surprise, birds! I think the birds are just late migrating south, though. On Saturday morning a group of them landed on the bush outside my window and just sat there! They yelled horrible insults at me and laughed for quite some time. I yelled right back at them. Evan and Sudha seemed to think this was quite amusing, and "cute."

Also this past weekend I upped my swiping and pouncing campaign against Evan and Sudha's feet. On Saturday morning I was very, very hungry indeed. I usually reach under the blanket to swipe, as I have mentioned in the past, but my humans have gotten good at shielding themselves from my attacks using the blanket. So I hopped up onto the bed itself and pounced repeatedly on anything that moved. I might try it again, as it seemed to get me fed in a somewhat timely manner. Although I heard Evan muttering "spray bottle" so I should be on my guard.

Last night something very strange happened. There was a power outage. Now I, as a superior being, have excellent eyesight. What really bothered me about it was that my heating vent suddenly stopped working. Now that was a horrifying experience. I can't believe that my humans did that to me!

Well, I have some cat-nap time to catch up on, until next time!

A Game of Cat Beds

First and foremost, my furry brothers and sisters, I must apologize for my long period of silence. It has been quite a busy month. It started out with a terror-inspiring trip to the vet.

The vet had the nerve to call me "a little chunky" when she saw me. I mean, really! I had literally only gained about a pound and a half since the last time I was in her office. I'm not going to share my exact numbers here, but it only constituted a 14% increase in my body weight! It's winter out there, it's getting very cold. Needless to say, I was very insulted by this observation.

What's worse is that Evan and Sudha have bought into the vet's propaganda. They have started feeding me a little less with each meal. Before this unfortunate change, I was pleasantly peckish before mealtimes. Sometimes I would let the two meals overlap with one another. Now I finish my meals well before the next meal time rolls around, and I'm quite hungry by the time Evan or Sudha finally gets around to feeding me.

To avenge this clear slight I have started, again, to reach under the covers of their bed while they are sleeping and swiping at their feet. Also, I've started curling up on their bed at night and attempting to take up as much space as possible. For example, the other night, I curled up on Evan's side of the bed between him and the edge. I made sure there was just not enough room for him to put one of his legs between me and the side, forcing him to sleep on his side.

Last week was Thanksgiving. Evan and Sudha were out of town for a days, giving me free reign of the house. Their friend Ali came in a few times to feed me. It was quite comical the first time watching her search the whole house for the cat food. I was trying to tell her where it was, but she didn't seem to be listening to me. What I did not appreciate about Thanksgiving weekend is that my darn humans turned the heat down to approximately 60 degrees for the whole time! Now, I know I have a fur coat and all, but 60 degrees is cold. I had to huddle in my cat bed to attempt to stave off the horrendous cold that was pouring into the house.

Anyway. I will try to update you all a little more frequently from now on. It's just been a very eventful time for me, with a lot of things to worry about.

Until next time, my furry brothers and sisters!

Visitors, Enemies and Pumpkins

There were two visitors to my house this last week, my furry brothers and sisters. The first was Fernando, who was back in town for work for a week, and the second was Magenta.

I'll start with Magenta. She is the owner for Sudha and Evan's good friend Seth. This is the same Seth who tried to bribe me with crumbs of bread, just so you recall. She's a slightly older cat, but I have to admit, a little more rotund than me. She stayed in my basement for a night because she wanted to get away from a Halloween party Seth was throwing in his house.

Needless to say, Magenta said some very rude things to me through the basement door. I was quite taken aback. I responded by raising my hackles, puffing out my tail and hissing. She replied in kind. After our run-in by the basement door, she hid downstairs out of my sight for the rest of her stay.

I acted more friendly towards my two humans for the rest of the day. Not too friendly though, I wouldn't want to spoil them.

Fernando also stayed in the basement. He's a little bit more polite than Magenta, but not by much. He seems to think that I am not friendly, and likes to say it out loud. However, he's just spoiled by his own owner, Bonnie. I'm not sure why other cats feel the need to spoil or not train their humans. It's really getting embarrassing.

Yesterday was Halloween. Evan and Sudha brought home this large orange things called a pumpkin, and carved a face into it. I was intrigued by the smell of the pumpkin, I have to admit. But ultimately, I don't think I would have liked it. They put the pumpkin outside on the front porch. Lots of people came by with their children to beg for candy. I tried to escape a couple times, but to no avail.

It's strange, some of the children were dressed up, but others just came as "themselves." It just seemed like being lazy, if you ask me.

Sadly, the pumpkin that Evan carved vanished from the porch as some point during the night. He was a little sad about it. But honestly, how sad can you get about a face carved into a large, orange fruit?

Well, I've got a lovely cat bed by a warm vent to lounge in. Until next time!