A Very Non-Existential Kitty

Good morning, my furry brothers and sisters. Yesterday night, my humans came back from the Internet Cat Video Festival at the Walker Art Center in Minneapolis (http://www.walkerart.org/openfield/programs/internet-cat-video-film-festival/). Personally, I'm not sure why they felt the need to go and watch other cats do stupid things when I'm right here. One of the highlights of the show was a video about an existential cat named Henri (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q34z5dCmC4M). I have to admit, I find this Henri character to be a shameful member of the cat species. How can one call oneself a cat and not believe themselves to be the absolute best thing in existence? I don't understand it.

It has been quite some time since my last update to this blog, and for that, I sincerely apologize. Since that time, my life hasn't changed too much. The summer has arrived and with it shedding season. I've developed a new habit of growling at people I really don't like.

Speaking of things I don't like: I heard some troubling news. This weekend, Sudha's family will be coming into town and they will be bringing the infernal King Charles Spaniel by the name of Ruby. I mean, really! Bringing a dog into my house! What is the world coming to?

Now to be honest, I have met Ruby before at her house in Chicago. And to be honest, she has a proper appreciation for the regalness of her position, unlike Henri the cat. She is definitely the queen of her house. While I was there I took it upon myself to assert my authority over her. I would bat her on the nose, hiss and her to scare her away and then eat her food, for instance. I mean to continue this proud tradition.

One of my humans, Evan, is turning 30 on Monday. Sudha is throwing him a party a week from Saturday, and I've heard that they plan to dress me up in a collar covered with Swiss flags. Switzerland being his country of origin. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I do like my skull and crossbones collar.

Perhaps the new collar will change my demeanor. Although I truly doubt that.

Ghost of Kitty Past

I have become a grouchy, unfriendly, hissing monster of a cat in my old age, my furry brothers and sisters. Well, that isn't entirely accurate; I'm perfectly amiable around humans that I have gotten to know. Especially cuddly with those who feed and shelter me on a regular basis. So I thought I would show off a picture of myself from a simpler, friendlier time. Those were the days when I would anyone pick me up and sit on anyone's lap.

Those days are now over. I have now officially surpassed the famed cat named Caesar to being the craziest cat around. According to my humans' friend Seth, that is.

I am settling down a bit as I get older. I'm almost 4 years old now, if you can believe that. Shedding season is coming around again this year. Despite that fact, I've found that I enjoy to bless my humans' laps with the grace of my furry presence. It doesn't take long for a thick coating of cat hair to cover them. If the scratch me behind the ears then we get cat hair "tumbleweeds" drifting across the hard-wood landscape.

When it comes to strangers, however, I have a zero tolerance policy. If they reach out a hand to pet me, I hiss. If they walk over to the area where I'm sitting, I hiss. If they look at me in a strange way, I stare back at them.

Just the other day Evan and Sudha's friend Dave came over. Now, strangers come over all the time, but this one had the nerve to go upstairs! Upstairs, of all places! Not only did I hiss as this clear affront to my sovereignty, I the kitty whine/growl. The same growl I used on Evan's cousin John last year.

I can't fully explain it. I get jumpy when strangers are around. I have my two humans well trained. But most other humans are not. They put me on edge, I dart around at the slightest movement from them. Strangely, though, they still make me somewhat curious. So I'm allowed to approach them, but they aren't allowed to approach me.

Spring is fully upon us now, and the windows are open more and more often. I've been getting more visits from the orange stray tom cat lately, as well. He likes to lounge on my back porch and taunt me. He walks by sometimes when Evan is out grilling. It's ok though, I let him know how I feel.

Until next time, my furry brothers and sisters.

A Kitty Who is Actually Cuddly

It has been a long, but not very cold month, of silence on my part, my furry brothers and sisters. Since I last wrote in this blog, it was still the year of our cat 2011. Now it is 2012, and so far the year has been quite unusual.

The last night of 2011 and the first morning of 2012 saw me closed into the laundry room upstairs while my humans entertained guests. Humans have this strange tradition of inviting other humans over, drinking alcohol and making a lot of noise to celebrate the New Year. First of all, I'm not really sure why one would invite another adult of your species over. Aren't they afraid the guest is going to steal their territory, pee on their home and belongings and arch their backs and hiss at them? Maybe that's not a human thing.

Second, what is the reasoning behind dulling one's senses and making a lot of noise? As a superior being, I value my heightened senses and ability to move silently while stalking my unsuspecting victims. And prey would have heard and smelled these noisy humans from miles away.

Anyway, they didn't let me out of the Laundry room during the the party because I have somewhat of a reputation. I did get to see a couple of the guests in the early morning of the 1st, however. Seth was still sleeping on the couch when Evan let me out. We stared at each other, Seth muttering "oh god" under his breath. Then I swiped at his hand as he tried to reach for his glasses. I'm not sure what it is about this Seth character, but he asks for it more than others.

Evan sometimes texts him pictures of me being cude, sweet and cuddly. I don't think he believe they are real, however. But you can see the photo of me above, sleeping peacefully on Evan's lap and getting in the way of his work. This picture is not altered in any way. I curl up on laps, I purr with great abandon, and I let them pet me.

Only after a very lengthy interview process, of course.

It has been an unusually warm winter here. Temperatures have been above freezing for most days of the past 2 to 3 months. It still seems a little cold and wet out there for my tastes, however, and it's still cold enough to spend a good amount of time every evening curled up on a human's lap. I do hope that this very warm weather doesn't continue on through the summer. It gets quite hot and humid around here. I am originally a desert creature, so I prefer the climate to be somewhat dryer.

Anyway, I will see you next time, my furry brothers and sisters.